Sorry this is kind of long but I feel like I need to give all of the background to explain the dilemma. And this is my first ever post on reddit so please consider going easy on me.My super shy and anxiety and depression prone daughter is in 10th grade and has been playing the flute in the school band since 6th grade. Up until now she has enjoyed it for the most part. It's a very small school and not a lot of kids are interested in band. Last year there were three other kids who played the flute in the high school band. They got a new teacher this year. A horrible, cruel, sadistic teacher. At least that is what the kids are saying.During the first week of school, students are allowed to switch classes and change their schedules around. My daughter liked band enough that at first she decided to just tough it out and take band. The other three flute players were going to also stay in band, even though they thought this teacher would make it pretty awful.School started on a Wednesday (Sept. 5). The first full week of school (Sept. 10-14), the 6th graders stay at a camp all week for outdoor school. High schoolers with good grades are encouraged to volunteer to go to outdoor school as counselors. My daughter had not originally planned on going to outdoor school, but the school asked her to do it because another kid backed out and she fit the criteria to be a counselor. While she was at outdoor school, the other flute players all switched out of band to other classes. The deadline to switch classes was Wednesday (Sept. 12), while my daughter was at outdoor school. Since she was at outdoor school and not allowed to go home, go to the school, or have a cell phone, she had no idea that the other flute players had dropped band. The other kids changed their minds and were able to drop band by the deadline because they were there at the school, not away at outdoor school.She is absolutely terrified of this new teacher. The teacher expects absolute perfection, even when playing music they have never seen before. If anyone messes up she belittles them, shames them, and reminds them that they should be able to play it perfectly because she used to be a doctor, she is in the symphony in the nearby big city, and she owns a piano. How the heck she thinks those things would mean that these kids should be able to play perfectly is beyond me. Anyways, my daughter is scared of this teacher and has had several anxiety attacks over it.The school counselor is in charge of schedules. My daughter says the counselor is kind of creepy and scary to talk to. But, she was willing to talk to him today to try to get changed out of band. She explained the situation, he told her it was too late and told her to go to band and just deal with it. She missed the deadline to drop band because she was at outdoor school, which she didn't really want to do in the first place, but felt she had to do it because they asked her to.She went to band today. The teacher had each section play their part on a new music piece, with flute going last. She was really hard on each section after they played. Then it was my daughter's turn to play. But instead of playing, she had a panic attack and then cried the rest of class. She said the teacher got in her face and told her to stop and just play it. She didn't play. She will likely be marked with a zero for today. She also had a series of seizures after she got home today, likely brought on by the stress and anxiety. She has myoclonic seizures, not the big ones people usually think of of when they hear about someone having a seizure. But it's still not a good thing.She recently started taking medication for anxiety and depression and was talking about suicide a month or so ago. I'm worried being in band as the only flute player with this teacher could send her over the edge. Or maybe she will be fine and the teacher will settle down after the newness of the school year has worn off. Teachers are sometimes harder on kids at the beginning of school than they are later on.I want to talk with this school counselor, the principal, or even go higher if I have to to try to get her switched out of band. If they won't budge, we'll home school. I've never been one to rock the boat and be "that parent", but feel like I should this time. Am I babying her by trying to help her get out of band? Should I fight this or just make her tough it out and hope that the teacher mellows out and hope the anxiety lessens or she gets used to the teacher's harsh style? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OzgmO2
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