Co-parenting hell.

I’m 37f with a 38m ex-husband, married five years divorced now five years. It began in 2013.It was hell for a long time while married. He cheated on me three times. The first I forgave; the second, I made us seek counseling; the third, I ended the marriage.It was ugly. I made a bad decision during the course of therapy to get on an amphetamine-based medication to treat what was misdiagnosed as adhd that ended up actually being bipolar / BPD and it sent me into a tailspin. I really came unglued, and when I caught him cheating the third time, I jumped into a new relationship with a guy friend. He was livid about this, and before we had a separation agreement, I let him take our girls (then 1 and 3) for what was supposed to be a visit but turned into him taking them and not giving them back. Due to the medication’s adverse affect on me and the weight of the stress of not having my girls, I completely collapsed and checked myself into a hospital.He used this to claim I was psychologically unsound and abusing drugs. He took away the girls and I lost all custodial rights.On the bright side, I received the proper diagnosis in the hospital and the proper medication and began seeking treatment. On the not bright side, I would spend the next three years unsuccessfully trying and failing in court to get any amount of custody restored. I fell into a deep depression and started drinking heavily. My ex started blackmailing me for sex in exchange for any time with my children.Finally in 2016 I got sober, pulled myself up, had my parents help me hire a lawyer, and spent the year fighting him in court until finally I won 50/50 custody of my children.My relationship with my girls is very positive and we have a very deep bond. My ex and I are at the point of being civil and superficially working together, but it is starting to come apart.The girls now 6 and 8 are having trouble with attention and focus in school. Academics are a struggle. I have been aggressively advocating for them, setting up a conference with the guidance counselor, both teachers, and the principal to figure out how to help them. I’ve set them up with a therapist to begin resolving the trauma they have experienced in the course of these events to make sure this isn’t impacting them, and to have my eldest daughter screened for pediatric bipolar since I have this and she is showing what are potential signs.My ex isn’t supportive of any of this. He doesn’t do homework with them, he doesn’t want them to go to therapy, he doesn’t want to meet with the school. I feel like I’m swimming and trying to pull the girls up and he’s like this weight dragging them down.And then the worst part...the girls came back to me after time with their father this weekend and my 8 year old had a six inch abrasion across her back, and some abrasions between her shoulder blades. I asked him what happened and he said he had no idea, couldn’t tell me specifically what happened to cause it. My daughter couldn’t tell me what caused it, became nervous and said she couldn’t talk about what happened at Papa’s house. I am a preservice teacher and a mandated reporter so I decided to make a CPS report.It’s so hard to face all of this. I made some bad decisions when my marriage ended, but I was already under duress because of his cheating. Once I was out of the hospital, he had no reason to alienate me like he did and then make me trade sex with him for time with the children. The level of abuse he visited upon me and the children is really unthinkable and hard to believe. And I’m now just trying to put all the pieces back together and make sure they grow up healthy and happy. I feel like I have to fight this man in order to do it when he should be helping me. And then there is this horrid fear that haunts me that if I make him angry by filing this report that he is going to find a way to take my babies away again, although I logically know this isn’t the case.Thanks for letting me vent. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2D9W8te