Why I withdrew my child from preschool

My little girl started preschool (nursery) in September. She is 3, and was very excited to start school - first morning she walked in said "hello everybody" and sat with the other kids on the carpet. She was dry for 4 months previously with only a few accidents. After the first week she started wetting and having accidents, the teacher/assistants would also complain daily at pickup. (Won't conform, doesn't understand us, won't ask for the toilet) She also started hitting other children. Before school she'd occasionally fight with her sister, but was not violent. So they asked to cut her full days to half days. There was a harvest concert and I was told I had to attend to manage my daughter's behaviour, so I turned up and sat in the class. What I saw shocked me. The other children were sat on the mat for register, my daughter was sat on a chair, alone at the back, looking glum. Other children said "here" at their attendance, when my daughter's name came up the teacher said her name followed by "she's here" without a chance for my daughter to respond. I felt she'd been ostracized/excluded. Before I had children I was a teacher, and it's not a behaviour management technique I'd have used. While waiting for the walk up to the concert, a few other children were teasing, poking my daughter while she was sat on the chair, and she'd retaliate with flicking her foot and waving her arms around (not a kick/hit more of a shoo), frowning. We walked up to the concert, she behaved well for a two hour ceremony, stood with the other kids to sing, sat well. Time came to go back to school and she screamed. Considering the daily complaints, my daughter growing ever miserable and the 'naughty' chair, I asked for a meeting with the teacher. I asked about the chair, she said that the assistants had put her on the chair as she won't sit still with the other kids, and she's happy to sit there. That was the start of her school day, every day. I discussed withdrawing her (school isn't a requirement until 5 in the UK, although it's a cultural norm to put them into preschool at 3) the teacher agreed readily for her withdrawal, and stated another 3 year old had already been withdrawn by parents. After the first week of school she regularly woke during the night upset and shouting. So I withdrew my child from a school where she didn't seem welcome, had become miserable and taken steps backwards in her development - the social aspects at this age are important, I can provide that at home through playdates and play centers, as well as a structured early education in her a,b,c's. I thought I'd share this experience with others, and no matter what people may think of me, I felt this was not a good environment for my 3 year old daughter. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yxLEjM