I'm sorry this is long, but we just really don't know what the best step forwards is.My daughter Kira has always been a little different, but we just put it down as her personality more than anything. Her brother (7yo) is very energetic and bubbly and can be pretty emotional, so I'd like to think that it isn't because my husband and I have done anything wrong. From a very young age she's really hated being touched or cuddled, and she doesn't really make any noise. She doesn't cry or yell, and in fact she barely responds to us at all. We know she can talk because she will if really pushed, and she talks to her brother, but if she can answer in a non-verbal way, she will. She insists on eating different parts of a meal separately, and hates it if her food is mixed together. Kira's idea of 'playing' is to sit silently in her room and put puzzles together or write. We've tried to do pretend playing like shops and doctors, but again, she'll only ever do what you say. The answer to every question is a shrug of the shoulders or "I don't know". I've tried to meet her halfway and join in with the puzzles, but just she ignores me and continues on as normal. I genuinely feel like I'm annoying her just by being near her. We took her to playgroups like we did her brother, but she doesn't connect with the other kids. She always wanted to leave early because she was 'bored'. I feel like I'm dealing with a very short pre-teen more than a 4yo most days.I thought things might change in kindergarten, but nothing has. Her brother screamed and cried on his first day of kinder, but Kira got out of the car and just said "you can leave now". I was supposed to go in with her and help her set up her cubby, but she kept saying things like "I can do it later". Maybe she's embarrassed by me? The teacher has since told us that she just isn't interested in the other kids. Apparently they all seem to like her very much and always want her to play with them, but she has a habit of just getting up in the middle of a game and leaving because she's gotten bored of it, and going to play with puzzles. Again, she seems to be following orders, but not actually enjoying things or 'playing'. We know Kira is very smart; she was reading and writing in full sentences by the time she was 3, and we know that she's been "secretly" doing her brother's homework for a while now, but I'm not sure exactly how long. And, of course, the puzzles. She's up to 5000pc ones at home now.Kinder obviously isn't challenging Kira or getting her interest. She's become slightly more verbal, but only to complain that she's bored of school. They're all learning the alphabet and says the teacher doesn't want her to answer questions anymore. But it looks like she's still really lacking in social development and play skills, and we don't know what's going to be best for her.I brought up the idea of enrichment or acceleration with the kindy teacher, but she just thinks that Kira has had a "head start" and that the other kids will "catch up" in a few years. My husband and I both work full-time and my parents didn't give her tutoring or anything, so I don't know how she could have a "head start" compared to anyone else. We've also suggested that it might be ASD, but again, they think everything will just sort itself out in the next few years, and she doesn't flap her arms or have meltdowns. They want to do nothing.I can't accept that. I can tell Kira's not happy, but she won't properly talk to us and the longest conversation I can get is maybe 10 words. My husband and I both agree that she needs more challenging work to do, but we don't know what to do on the social front. Maybe she's genuinely behind in that respect, or maybe she's just bored of 4yo's? I can't imagine I'd find it much fun to talk to no one but 4yo's on a near daily basis. She gravitates towards older kids when we see family or friends, but they brush her off a little bit and talk down to her (well, talk to her appropriately for her age). The look on her face can only ever be described as disgust.My husband works as a mathematician and I work as a physicist, so gifted and ASD are both diagnoses we can see coming out of this. We're happy to let Kira continue to do her brother's homework as long as he's doing it himself as well (and not handing in hers). Should we push harder for acceleration on top of that? Does she need more time to build up social skills before she starts school full-time? Should she be with her age peers or work peers? Should we look into getting her a private tutor or anything? There really aren't any good services to deal with either of these diagnoses in our state, and there isn't even a single gifted and talented school within 400km. Kira shuts down completely with doctors and other adults, so I don't even know how she'd do in testing. We want her to feel more challenged, but not overwhelmed or "different" in a bad way. We also don't want her socialising to regress even further, because she must be so lonely already.Any advice or similar stories are really appreciated. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ktPBjM
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