I have been under a lot of stress. My sister and brother in law were adopting their niece, but another relative with more blood stepped in. These people are drug dealers, addicts and there are at least 2 pedophiles in rhe immediate family who have raped other family members. No one wanted these people to get the child, except the judge, which is apparently all that matters. So after over a year I lost mt niece and my kids lost their cousin to am unfair system.I have been really sick. I have an illness which causes me to vomit a lot. I have to eat small meals throughout the day, but lately I can barely eat one small meal a day. I am always nauseous and sick. I am trying so hard to figure it out. I wish I could say that I was losing some weight, as I need to, but despite barely being able to eat and being sick all the time, it doesn't seem to matter. It isn't like I do nothing. We are so busy. I am always on the go lately.My 3 year old is on steriods for an illness. Today is the last dose (thank God!) and is a crying, ragging beast who wants to be perminately attached to me. I am been trying to cook and clean with this child crying at me. I wouldn't care about cleaning, but on top of it all, our washer died and we have a new one coming. I had to make the house livable.My husband has been extra busy at work because his coworker who is the main person he works with, is on sabbatical. So he is stessed. We do this thing where I get up with the kids one morning and he the next. This keeps both of us sane. Usually, the jobs of the person who gets the kids is to get threm dressed, fed and ready for school (snacks and checking to see what the schedule is). That person usually cycles the dishes in the morning. We have a small dishwasher. If we neglect to run it in the morning and at night we have a huge pile of overflowing dishes. My husband has been "too busy" to do that and I find him working on a project or playing video games before work (he works from home). I get it. He needs to decompress. But I have so much going that even that five minutes makes a difference.My almost 5 year old wants to micromanage everything I do (my husband and mother in law are like this, but they have made big strides and I appreciate that). But she also wants to tattle on her sister and I tell her that there is telling and tattling and no one likes tattlers. My mother also got her in the habit of saying what things she wants for birthday or Christmas and now she says she wants everything she seeing in the store or on TV or while visiting other people. I am trying to fix this, but it has been hard.They are great kids. They are sweet, kind and funny. It is just that lately it feels like no one respects me. I tell the kids to clean up and they throw fits. If they refuse they get a time out or no dessert, or lose a toy, depending on what they are doing. They hear my husband asking me to make him a coffee or clean something he can't get to because he has to get back to work and they try to do it too. My 3 year old grabbed a bag and sunglasses and tols me she couldn't help because she has a meeting (just.like daddy). Cute, but frustrating.My husband does help. But when it is his time with the kids on the weekends he doesn't do what I need him to. He goes to his mom's. The kids want time with just him. He doesn't seem to get that. He is a great dad. He is very involved. I just get more time with the kids because I am home with them. But I feel like if I rest for a few hours I am stuck with twice the load later. I told him this last night and he says he will try harder.My PTSD is flaring. I have been to therapy in the past. It helped. I have all the tools, but it is still a struggle. This morning, my daughter os screaming, I was throwing up and I still did what I had to. I asked my husband to pick up jello at the store and he did. He says to me, "just be careful. This has a lot of calories so don't eat it all." I wanted to smack him (I didn't). Even if I ate 2 packages all day and nothing else I wouls be under calories. But I am not worried about that at the moment because it is about staying hydrated! My mom, the emotional vampire, calls and unloads all of her emotions. Then she wants to talk to my 3 year old, who is screaming because I had to take something out of the oven. I tell her I don't have the hands and she is insisting and I lose it! I start screaming that I am only one person. That I can't do it all. That I can't be all things to all people. That everybody wants everything from me and I have nothing left. My mom says she has no idea what is wrong with me and treats me like I am a crazy person. I hang up. She is most of the problem. I have been limiting contact with her for now because there is no room for anyone's emotions, but her own.I know I will be okay, but I need a vaction. We are going on a family trip this weekend, and my mother in law is going to take the kids for one day. That will help. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I just need rest and I can't have that. I know it is just stress, but I just need me time and I don't have the ability to do that.On the up side, the new washer just came, so I will be doing laundry all day. Thanks for reading. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yD61fx
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