Preschool/daycare frustrations - when is enough enough?

Our little guy is 2.75. He's been in the same daycare centre since he was 10 months, and we have, on the whole, loved it. He's thriving.In July, he moved from the toddlers room to the preschool room. Their day is split between 2 classrooms/teachers (so 4 teachers total). All of the kids in the class moved up at the same time, so they are all the same age.Suddenly he's telling us that he doesn't want to go to school, but we know he has a good time when he's there. I know this is normal.We've been potty training for the last 3 months - he's been 100% pee trained, including during nap the entire time, but poops in his pants at daycare every day. We just had him home with us for a week and he pooped in his pants only once during the week. Again, I get that this is likely to do with the fact that they can't watch him as closely as we do.Since being in the preschool room (so less than 3 months), he's had 3 new teachers swap in due to another centre opening (staff transfers) and promotions.He is intolerant to milk (not all dairy, he just can't drink milk). He's had an "allergy alert" in his file for a year. Every time a new teacher is in his room, they give him milk. They just switched so that the afternoon teachers eat with the kids instead of the morning ones at lunch time (we only found this out because I checked the web cam). The afternoon teachers have been giving him milk for 3 days, and we only knew because our son stopped eating at home and started complaining that his bum hurt (milk gives him painful acid poop). We've spoken to his teachers this morning and they had no idea. If he had a serious allergy, they wouldn't know about it!This is an extremely expensive daycare centre, and is 30 minutes from our house (in the wrong direction from our jobs), but was "the best" when we toured them - our local ones sucked.I'm not quite ready to yank him out, but I am super frustrated, especially about the milk thing. We don't even know who's going to be giving him food to be able to address it with them directly until after the fact, and by that point our kid is in physical pain that could have been avoided. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xW7f5s