Any families were/are in a similar situation that can offer advice?I work and Dad stays home with baby (11 weeks). We are having a hard time divvying up our time and efforts. Dad thinks he should only have to care for baby while I'm at work, but that's not feasible. Baby hates being put down but also hates wearing/carriers. Here's the schedule we currently have, and then the schedule I'd like. See if you can spot the small differences:I work 8-5, come home on lunch to nurse give Dad a break. Dad is stuck on couch with baby most of the day (see above) otherwise. He doesn't want to put baby down because he can't handle the crying and having to try more than once. Says it's easier to just be stuck under baby, but hates it.I take baby the minute I get home until around 7, Dad gets 2 hrs to do whatever. Usually just relaxes.Dad avoids baby as much as possible all evening because he had baby all day. But I also have to cook and clean (Dad sucks at cooking and most cleaning chores). And I gotta pump every few hours, too, and baby is too squirmy to hold while pumping.Dad gets upset when I ask him to take baby so I can cook/clean/pump. I struggle to accomplish much.Baby has colic from about 10p-1a. Again, Dad doesn't want to help with him, or he makes me feel inadequate if I ask for help to soothe baby. Often, Dad just ditches us and goes to bed and shuts the door.Eventially baby is soothed and goes to sleep. We sidenurse throughout the night; I get up with him for changing and to pump, both at least once. Dad sleeps through the night, unless I need his help to soothe baby while I pump. Dad is aggravated at being awoken.I wake up at 6:30, pump, and get ready for work. Dad feeds baby and sleeps with him til around 10 a.m. and then his day begins.Here's how I'd like it to go:I work m-f, 8-5. I come home on my lunch break to nurse and give Dad a break. Dad works through the day with baby to help him entertained himself, practices wearing, and helps baby go down to nap using pick up-put down method. Dad is not stuck under baby all day as a result.I take baby as soon as I'm home til 7 so dad can relax for 2 hours.I begin pumping, cleaning, and cooking dinner at 7, through 10 pm, and Dad takes care of baby while I'm busy without being an asshole about it. Again, because Dad has been practicing putting baby down, wearing, and helping him to soothe himself, he isn't stuck under baby.We use teamwork to soothe baby during his fussy time from 10 p.m. to 1 a.m., and no one feels inadequate.Baby goes to sleep and I sidenurse throughout the night. I wake up for changing and pumping, at least once for each. Dad sleeps through the night, unless I need help soothing baby back to sleep while I pump, and Dad doesn't act pissed at being awoken.I wake up at 6:30, pump, get ready for work, and Dad feeds baby and sleeps with him til 10. Then his day begins.If you couldn't spot them, the only differences are that Dad practices putting him down, and Dad isn't a jerk about helping with him in the evening or night.I'm not asking for more sleep, or less chores, or any thing besides a decent attitude and some goddamn teamwork. I get that he has the harder day job, but I literally never get a break, not even while sleeping -- when I'm not at work, I'm keeping the house hold running and waking up with the baby. And I'm not asking for a break, just help without anger.Am I being unreasonable?? I really don't think I am but we're having such a hard time getting along. I'm burning the candle at every end trying to keep shit running and I'm losing my grip on it. Advice is appreciated! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2y3OhG1
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