Daughter overheard me talking negatively about her and got her feelings hurt, how can I apologize

Well, I fucked up. A while ago I posted about how my daughter and I were fighting constantly about her hair. Shortly after, she decided to fix the problem herself with a pair of scissors. She absolutely massacred it. We took her in to fix it but short of shaving her head there wasn't much to be done, we're just going to have to let it grow out. It doesn't look good. Of course I haven't expressed this opinion to her, she obviously knows and asks every day if it looks like it's growing back. It really isn't yet but I haven't told her that.This morning I was on the phone talking to her aunt, thinking R was still asleep. I was warning her aunt not to be shocked when she comes for R's birthday because she cut off all her hair. I bitched about her recent weird behavior for a few minutes and then said she had a big head and the haircut was making it look worse. I suddenly heard a cry from under the dining room table. She was awake early and had been lying down there playing her video game and listening the whole time.Granted "she has such a big head" is not the worst thing I could have said but it doesn't matter because it still devastated her. She ran off to her room crying. I followed and tried to apologize and she went into full meltdown mode. She went off screaming that she hates everyone and tried to smack me. Her little sister wandered over to see the commotion and got smacked too, which I admittedly yelled at R for. She is now hiding in her room refusing to talk to me.I don't want to invalidate her feelings. I do want her to know how sorry I am but I don't want her to feel like she has no right to feel hurt because she obviously does. What I said was mean. She is very smart and verbal for her age but isn't very emotionally or socially mature.Should I wait to try and apologize when she calms down? Or have her dad talk to her instead? I'm pregnant (R doesn't know yet) and in a really bad mood in the mornings but it doesn't matter. It was still a rude thing to say. I never would have said it if I thought there was even a chance she could hear me. If I heard her talk that way about another kid I would have punished her. Fuck. How do I fix this one? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eF3f14