*Sorry this ended up being longer then I thought. Maybe just needed to vent. TLDR at the end of the post.My son (9) currently lives 4 days with me (mom) and 3 days with dad a week. For 7 years it was 50/50 but changed about a year ago after some things had been happening at his dad's. Long story short, my sons father will not co parent with me at all. When my son goes there I no longer exist and is told to call me by my first name and to call his step mom, Mom. This started when we first separated and he was very young ( 2-3 years old) He would be made to feel very bad if he ever missed me or asked to call me. He was never aloud to call and was told " do you not love us enough". There is a lot of other issues, child protection did an investigation over emotional abuse and we have been to court last year.Between all that and the lack of co parenting for years, my son has really been through a lot.But the main issue right now is his school is not very good at keeping us both informed about things. They have always only left 1 main address and 1 main contact on his emergency/contact information form at school. For the first 4 years in school the main address on his school form was his dad's because his dad lived in the school catchment, and his dad's 50% time happen to be more of the school days ( 3 out of the 5). So that made sense to me. But now I have 3 of the 5 days in school and now I am wanting to change the main address and phone number to mine. My phone number was always on the form but not as the " main " number. I have tried to add it on and tell the school he has 2 homes and to please call both parents. But that never worked out.This has been going on for years. Now in a normal situation this wouldn't be that big of a deal if both parents were mature adults and could communicate properly but seeing that his dad will not even communicate with me over our son. This has become a problem. It seems like everything is a competition with his step mom, I constantly feel like they are trying to one up me. Everything seems like a competition. It is very draining. I have never been in a competition with them. Never went after child support. Wanted my son to have a good relationship with his father and supported that in anyway I could. I never wanted to go to court and be fighting. But it got to a point where I had to.At one point they had filled out these information/emergency forms and sent them in to the school and completely left me off of them and added the stepmom as the " mother" . My phone number wasn't even on there anywhere. If I hadn't checked, the school would have just thought she was his mom. This was his first year at school. She has, in the past led people to believe she was his mother. I've had people come up to me and say oh hi I know " sons " mother. Or people say, wait that's your son. I thought it was " step mom's " son.Now, new school year and I hear from some other parents that the new teacher has called each parent to introduce himself. We have never had a teacher do this. Except of course I didn't get a call. I asked my sons dad if he got a call and he did last Friday. Didn't mention it to me before this though.I just need some advice how to deal with this with the school? I don't want them to think I'm coming off as jealous or whatever it normally would seem like. But again if we had a normal co parenting relationship this wouldn't be a problem. I just want to be in communication with my sons school like any other parent wants to.Should I just go in and say to his teacher that it seems I missed your call and just wanted to introduce myself and meet you!?Should I be going into the office and saying what my sons custody arrangement and addresses and phone numbers all need to be on this form and the correct person called!?Also while we're on the subject, do you think it is ok to ask/demand separate parent teacher interviews? Whenever we all go together. Usually me, dad and stepmom. There is a lot of tension. One year I ended up going by myself separately because I missed the first meeting by accident and it was a lot better for me. I got to discuss things more openly about my son to his teacher. I think it was more beneficial for my son that way.TL;DR. Childs School not good at communicating with both parents. Parents have a rocky, unstable relationship and unable to communicate together. How to deal with the school? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xfK0A5
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