This is a throwaway account. I am attempting to be intentionally vague in an effort to maintain privacy if possible.I am an American who has been living in China for several years. My colleague and I had been in the EXTREMELY early stages of dating (that stage when you are still sweet and nice to each other before you truly know each other) and we accidentally conceived. She is due within the next few months.As a result of our choices, our circumstance and Chinese culture/face basically forced us to sign marriage papers and to make up a story (lie) to colleagues and family members in order to keep our good-paying jobs. The story goes that we had actually been together for a long time and that we only told everyone about it now because we are getting ready to have a baby (again, all untrue except for the having a baby part). It worked and we both still have our good-paying jobs.Unfortunately, as time moved on we have found that we do not get along well at all, we are two completely different people, and we have trouble communicating due to language issues. I feel completely stuck and alone in this situation that I have put myself in.Her and I have been vigorously preparing for baby over the past ~6 months and we are basically as ready as we can be, except for the fact that I know absolutely 100% that I do not want to be with this woman the rest of my life because we are miserable together and completely unhappy. However, if we are to "divorce", she will lose face and need to leave the company and move back to her small hometown village where there are not many prospects for her at all.I absolutely want to be involved in my child's life and I suggested the idea that she let me take the child and move back to America while she lives in China (she can't leave due to her family and also she 100% never wants to leave China), but understandably she is opposed to that idea.I am not even 29 yet and I still envisage myself creating a loving, happy family, but definitely not with the woman I am with now.It seems that I have to choose between being involved in my son's life (whereas I desperately want to be) while staying in a miserable relationship and feeling terrible every day, or leaving this relationship and not being involved in my son's life due to living in America while mom/baby stay in China.I realize that there is no easy solution here, but any insight from anyone would be greatly appreciated and welcome. I just feel so alone and miserable in all of this, yet my heart is already bursting with love for my coming child. Please advise :( via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2ybeUcc
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