Is it reasonable to exclude grandma from a birthday party when she hasn't done anything wrong?

My MIL wants to be as involved in my kids' lives as we will let her be. Fortunately we live a few hours away, but her daughter had to tell her that she can't come over during the week anymore, otherwise she would come over the moment she got off work and stay until the kids were asleep.My youngest is having his first birthday in a few months and MIL has already started planning it on his behalf. She has invited my family, her family, etc.She thinks she's being helpful but without getting into details I really would prefer that she not take over like this. Every time I start thinking about this birthday party I get filled with anxiety.So I'm wondering if it's totally unreasonable of me to put the kibosh on the whole thing and celebrate with just my nuclear family (husband and kids). Is it wrong or hurtful to exclude her when this is so important to her? To be totally honest I wouldn't even mind if she came, if it was ONLY her. But I don't want her inviting her other kids, grandkids, siblings, my family who I am low-contact with, etc.Any advice welcome. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fcRChV