
Rant / Sympathy Whoring / Frustration Outlet incomingOur daughter of 6 weeks (as of writing) is, judging from what I read and heard, a typical colic baby.Over the day, if she's awake, she can be entertained with the various stuff everyone knows about (making sounds, touching her, walking around, showing her light/shadow/pattern images. Sometimes she will fall asleep, sometimes she will scream but can be calmed quickly.But... more or less like clockwork, at 6 pm, she decides that after feeding it's time for mom and dad to suffer hell's wrath. And she screams to no end. This goes until around 11pm to midnight and then we're back to the old pattern. Over night, interestingly enough, she can handle eating and falling asleep quite quickly afterwards.That's why I'm convinced it can't be reflux or a dairy problem, because those would persist throughout the day.I know this is not even close to some of the horror stories other people had or have to endure. We are lucky that the nights are calm and she can generally be entertained over the day. I consider that a blessing after reading up on how bad it could be.However, as many others, those few hours are driving me absolutely nuts. I'm a software engineer, and as such I'm a natural problem solver. It's what I do all day. Face a problem, work my way through it, and find a solution.But here... There is no solution. I cannot "fix" her. My wife is, fortunately, more accepting of "things that are like they are".During those phases, no calming technique will help for more than a couple of seconds, if even that. Our absolute best defense against her (as mean as that sounds) is our pinky finger in her mouth, which she will suck on as if her life depends on it (even when being just fed minutes ago for more than enough time). She will be hectic, waving arms around (which we hold down gently but firmly), moving her head around, breathing like she's running a marathon and grunting like a 50 year old smoker with lung infection.At some point, we both come to a breaking point, and that is where my problem lies. I get angry. I am not a violent person in any sense of the matter. (I do curse and shout at my computer at times of highly intense competitive online games but I don't think that qualifies me as a violent person, although it might hint at the underlying problem)My wife, to all our luck, just gets sad and tired at those points. Me, I want to punch walls, scream, slam doors and just generally let out rage.And it's scaring me. I'm not angry at my daughter, because I know its not her fault. But still, I need to somehow escape the situation and just let off steam. I am terrified that one day, I will miss the point before and cannot control myself anymore. It's my number one fear.I have alread through these types of threads and it already calmed me down a bit.The knowledge it will at some point be over, is reassuring. But in the heat of the moment, I have trouble recollecting all these things I read.And then, when I give the screaming little human to my wife to go off to my room, listen to music on maximum volume, so I don't hear them, the guilt trip sets in and makes me feel like an absolute failure of a parent. Why can't I handle this better? Why is there so much rage in me that comes out at these points? It just baffles me how such a small girl can bring out such utter, primal rage in a normally well balanced being as myself.Do other dads have a similar problem and how did you deal with it? Maybe I just need more reassurance or techniques. I have even thought about earplugs but I doubt they will help considering the volume my little one has when she's at it again.I realize there are many topics no this already but I really needed to get my side of things off my chest... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2va7Uvg
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