20 things that I learned after 9 months as a father

My daughter just turned 9 months. Below are some things that I have learned about parenting, babies, being a dad, etc. in no particular order.1) It's not too hard, mostly just tiring. I sometimes daydream about sleeping, wondering why I took for granted all of those times when I slept in until 8:00AM.2) I think my wife knows that when I take a shit for 15 minutes, I am really relishing in 13 minutes of meditative bliss- while browsing reddit, of course.3) There is no better feeling in the world than having a little creature fall asleep on you.4) I sometimes question if I'm a good parent based on the lack of baths that my daughter gets.5) I can smell poo from 2 rooms away and can preemptively tell when she is about to drop a deuce.6) I absolutely hate trying to put pants on her. It's as if she can see them coming and plots her revenge on me for not giving her a bath.7) Wiping poo out of a vagina is something that I never thought I would do in my life.8) I wish I knew just how easy it was when she didn't move. Crawling and attempts at walking causes me to live 90% of my life in sheer terror.9) I feel like superman whenever she reaches out for me when she's scared. If only she knew the truth.10) Someone enjoys my singing and dance moves.11) I sometimes catch myself treating her like a dog when trying to teach her new tricks...I mean life skills.12) Nobody ever prepares you for blowouts. How does that happen in such a little body.13) I now have someone else besides the dogs to blame my farts on. She doesn't mind.14) Mornings when she wakes are the best moments. I feel so good about myself when she is super pumped to see me.15) A 128 GB Iphone is not nearly big enough for baby photos and videos.16) I was so proud when she called me Dada, until everything became Dada for a little while. Now she only says Mama.17) My baby is the cutest and smartest one out there- she's probably also going to be a bit of an asshole, but funny as shit.18) I think here recent weight gain can be attributed to all of the shit that collects under her neck.19) I can change a diaper in just about any position that she throws at me.20) She's pretty awesome and I haven't been more proud about anything in my life. I think she knows it! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2vyMlYl