I feel like I am in sort of a weird position. My oldest son who is 10 is a bit on the eccentric side; he is an amazing kid, but sometimes his quirkiness makes it hard for him to keep friends. However, he does have a few good friends...or so I thought. Also, let me add, that my son is the opposite of assertive. He is shy and would rather let things go than try to enforce anything. We live on a military base, so all of the kids in our neighborhood go to the same school-its pretty tight-knit around here and we see the same and families every day. However, over the summer especially, it seems that a few of my sons friends only come over to use our family computer. At first I didn't think much of it...I mean, my kids use it pretty frequently (its locked-down and monitored-they can only use some websites for kids and games that I have installed).Anyway, whenever any one of these 3 friends come over to hang out, they inevitably end up in front of the computer. At first I told my son to tell them that friends aren't allowed on the computer...but they did it anyway. Then I told them myself that when there is company here, no one gets on the computer since its a one-person activity, it makes no sense for one kid to be glued to it while the other sits there and does nothing.I finally allowed 1 of these kids to spend the night with my son. I was reluctant, but they were really excited so I let it happen. I told them right off, no one gets on the computer. After awhile, they ended up on the computer (surprise). I said no, get off, and the kid said "I was just showing him this thing" and I replied with something like "alright, but you guys need to get off" to which the kid replied "don't worry, we're taking turns". I walked off, trying not to get angry. They did get off a few minutes later. Later that night, I went upstairs to check on them and the kid asked if once my younger kids were in bed, if they could go get on the computer; my son looked totally crestfallen. He was having fun playing LEGOs and video games with the friend. I said "No, aren't you here to play with [my son]?" and the kid sort of changed the subject. Later on, again, the kid asked if he could sleep downstairs (he didn't SAY it was to use the computer, but I knew that was the reason), to which I replied no, you can sleep up here in my sons room.I haven't invited that kid for a sleepover since, but, he lives right next door so sometimes he does come over to play. This past weekend he was playing with my son in his room and my son came to ask "Soandso wants to know if we can play on the computer." I told him no, not when friends are here. The kid said he wanted to come over to play Xbox (which is what they were doing) so I was frustrated that under that guise, he came in then tried to ditch my son for the computer. About an hour later, I came downstairs after putting away laundry and...what do you know...the kid is at the computer! I told them to get off and I shut it off. Later on, the kid was here for dinner, so they were all hanging around the living room waiting for the food to be done...and he got on the computer again. Luckily food was done so I called them to eat. After dinner, my son asked the friend to go play upstairs and the kid said "but I wanted to get on the computer to play [something or another]" and I said "No, you have to go home soon so you guys go hang out. I don't want anyone on the computer".Now, I know this is probably partially my fault. I don't like to get mad at other peoples kids and my sons personality allows kids to talk him into letting them do whatever and its infuriating. Fast forward to yesterday, this same kid has a teenage sister who babysits for me sometimes. She was here watching my kids while I was running errands. I got home and lo and behold-the brother is here ON THE COMPUTER. I relieved her of the babysitting and sent him home and asked my son why he was on there and he said "He just asked if he could come play, then got right on the computer."My son has a female friend who I love-shes very sweet, but when she comes to play, the same thing happens-she talks him into letting her on the computer. About 2 weeks ago, my son had another friend stay the night twice in 4 days. The first night was fine-they were upstairs all night. The second time he stayed the night, he wouldn't stop coming downstairs to get on the computer, despite my son getting upset and telling him to come play. Every time I would walk by, the kid was at the computer. I finally had had enough and I said get off, no one is on the computer and shut the power off.I hate myself for thinking this but sometimes it seems like my son is "used" in order to come over and play with the computer. They play with him initially and eventually worm their way onto the computer. I don't know whats so remarkable about it---like I said, its in the living area so I'm always aware of what they're doing on there, its on kid lock down so I don't get what the big deal is. Is this a thing? Do I need to bust out the crazy mean mom mode and just firmly say no computer? I feel like I have, many times, but they still do it. And like I said, they talk my son into saying its okay, due to his reserved demeanor. Its like he is afraid the kids wont like him or have fun unless he lets them on the computer.I am at the point where I don't want kids to come over at all. Its just such a weird thing. Should I lock it with a password so no one can get on it without me putting in the password? My kids use it frequently-well, they have a certain amount of time a day but it seems dumb to do that. Do I tell them right off when they come in "NO COMPUTER"? Although I have, they don't "get" it. Also let me add that my husband is deployed so I don't have his support in this right now.Maybe this was more of a vent than asking for advice...but, any suggestions? Has anyone else been in this weird situation? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2b1l1W7
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