Daughter is driving me nuts!

So my daughter is 9 in 4th grade. I try being pretty laid back with her and I think she's just taking advantage of it at this point. My mom was a hard ass with me and I hated it. Even now if I complain to her about my daughter her answer is to whoop her butt. I just cannot do it. I threaten to but can never carry it out. Anyways she gets her feelings hurt extremely easy. She's a huge drama queen. When she does get in trouble it's hard to reason with her because of the crying. My husband doesn't really help unfortunately he tries "peacemaking" when she's in trouble. He says "ahh she won't do it again, right?" Etc etc. It drives me nuts. Here's the two biggies:I can not get her to clean her room. I've tried chore charts. Grounding. Money. And nothing motivates her. I ask her if she's cleaning and she says "I am" when in fact she's playing. I ask her to clean and she's back to playing. I don't mind messy but she has gotten really bad being basically gross. I try being a parent that respects privacy so I don't go in her room much. Besides when I actually do I get so frustrated with her. When she was 5 and under she was awesome at helping me around the house and cleaning her areas.She lies and doesn't blink an eye. I know she's trying to prevent getting in trouble but I detest lying. I've explained to her that lying is not ok and trust is hard to earn back. It's like she feels kinda sorry and next day she's back at it. An example: last night she pulled her tooth after bed time. Had her toothbrush in her room with toothpaste everywhere. I went in to cut out the lights. When she got home from school today I asked her about it. She said she didn't have her toothbrush in her room. I asked her who did and she finally admits she was brushing her lost tooth to take to school. I mean is this a punishable thing? Cause honestly I don't know. It is irritating though. ;) I'm trying to get her to clean her rooms as we speak and took away her electronics until they are clean however long it takes. I've told her at least 5 times to quit playing and clean, what is she doing? Playing!I know I need more rules in place I think. But I am laid back and not one of these people who set tons of rules. I mean of course I have some like she has a bed time of 8:30. She must feed and take care of rabbit everyday. No TV past 8:30. Homework done first. Then bath. Basically after homework and bath she's free to to do as she wants.Anyways please help I'm all ears! I want to turn this around before the teenage years. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bTtTQY