So here's my story. I'm 34(M) with three beautiful kids and divorced 3 years ago now. My ex was able to find herself and very beneficial relationship before our divorce was even final and although I never really questioned it, I'm pretty sure she was cheating well before divorce was even an option. Now I believe that divorce was the best option for ourselves and our kids. However it took it's toll on me financially and I still haven't recovered from it. I had 50/50 physical custody of my kids, but had to change my job in order to make that work. I knew the financial end of everything would be a struggle, but was not prepared for how bad it would be. I ended up losing my house and the stability I was able to offer my kids. My ex however moved in with someone else one month before our divorce was official and has since been the most stable parent for our kids. The guys she moved in with is actually a really good guy and if I'm being honest, he's been great with my kids and has provided where I haven't been able to. It makes me feel like crap about myself and my situation, but it's been nothing but beneficial for my kids, and they absolutely adore him. I keep all my negative feelings about it to myself and make sure I don't speak negatively about my ex in front of my kids. My kids are starting to really notice how bad I'm struggling though, and I really believe it's having a negative impact on them. I see them as often as I'm able to, but it's not consistent enough to have a real impact on their lives right now. My ex has started excluding me out of big decisions with my kids and although it can be angering, I don't feel like I have the right to make it an issue being I can hardly provide for myself right now, let alone my children. She holds how much she has provided for them since out divorce over my head, and uses it to guilt me into accepting things I normally wouldn't. It's has really affected how I parent and make me feel sometimes I might not be what's best for them anymore. I can't ever picture not being in my kids lives and have missed them every day since things started going south for me. I don't intend on giving up, but where do I draw the line on how much they have to see me struggle? When is it better for them if they don't see me as often while I'm like this? I have started paying their mother more for my housing issue, because she basically has them full time now. I'm really starting to believe it would be better for them if I wasn't in the picture for the time being and to just financially help their mom until I'm able to provide again. They have so much more in terms of stability, family, and help than they have ever had with me. This is all due to the new man in my ex life as neither me nor her have family where we live. I need help o. Figuring out how I should proceed with my life as it is, and whether or not I'm hurting more than helping while not being able to provide for them the way she can. I don't hate myself, however I hate my situation. I love my kids more than anything and would absolutely give my life for any of them. I just don't know what I can give them right now. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2VXoXhx
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