As graduation approaches for many, I wanted to remind parents that there is not one clear path to success.

Using a throwaway because some of this information is personal and would make me prone to doxxing.I have 4 kids. Twin 19 year olds who are freshman in college, a just turned 18 year old senior in high school, and a 15 year old freshman in high school.My husband and I are both strongly academic minded individuals. I have my masters and am an elementary school teacher. My husband has his doctorate and works for a large research lab in our state. It's important to us and assumed all of our kids would follow our lead because we stressed the importance of education since preschool.One of the twins has always been very academic minded. He was accepted to his top choice school.....in California. We live in New York so on college drop off day I left my baby in a state on the other side of the country. It was hard but this school is very selective and will give him so many opportunities. It's stressful but he's managing with straight As and a social life.His twin brother is more introverted. He loved school and played a sport but didn't care for the social scene. He got accepted into some great schools but decided that he wanted to attend a small private Catholic college and commute. It's about 15 minutes away and he plays for their baseball team. He's always been the kid who needed a good night sleep and wasn't confident he could get that dorming. Even on school or sports trips he would call it a night before anyone else and had a self imposed bedtime since he was 2. He works on the weekends to pay for his gas and insurance and loves being able to come home to a quiet house. He's glad he doesn't have to worry about the social scene because he can't stand drunk or high people.My current senior has never been like his brothers. School has always been a battle for us and him. He really didn't see the importance of learning about things he didn't care about. He was smart enough for honors and AP classes but didn't see any reason to push himself. He kept his grades good enough to play football for his school team but that was as far as he went with it. Today he signed up for a trade school. He will be learning welding. He already welds and is pretty good but he's excited to attend trade school. My boy who fought every morning about school had the biggest smile on his face today after making the deposit. He wants to go to school and is looking forward to it after graduation.My current high school freshman had to get permission to sign up for 2 AP courses. He's a stereotypical nerd and has plans to attend Princeton because that's where my husband got his PhD.We make all these assumptions about our kids. I regret all of those evenings spent fighting with my 18 year old over school. I regret trying to convince one of the twins to leave for school. There are so many paths to success and they don't all look the same. The best friend of the twins, who was super successful in high school, graduated a year early to join the military. His mom was pissed and wanted him to go to college first but he didn't want that. She just went to go see him in Georgia for parents weekend at bootcamp and was so proud of her boy. You have to let them live their own lives. Eventually you move from coach to cheerleader. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2IU1Oc0