Having a Moment...An Overwhelmingly Joyful Moment

First time Daddy to a beautiful 5mo girl (to be more specific - I'm a Foster parent and we've had her since day 2). We are in the midst of a tumultuous ride with the Arizona Foster Care system, and the bio parents - who are active users and currently homeless, jobless, and unmotivated. This is bio moms 3rd and bio dads 5th, and they don't have custody of any of their children. Needless to say, it's a very difficult situation and I can't share more details than that.​Last night was Daddy's night to babysit. I work two jobs - Full-time Electrical/Software Engineer, and I wait tables in the evening for additional income to help support the family. My wife owns her own business and can only see limited clients now with the young baby. So it's Daddy-Daughter night on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I love my special one-on-one time.​Last night was a lot of the usual, we practiced sitting up, core exercises, tummy-time, feeding, throwing up on Daddy (she always laughs afterward so I think she really enjoys that part), and playing with toys while I make silly faces getting her to smile. But last night included something so much more...​While we were playing, and she was smiling at me I was filled with an overwhelming sense of love, joy, and peace. You have to understand that when you Foster you don't know what tomorrow holds. Will she still be with us? Will she still be okay? What if this? What if that? It can be consuming and there is always the unknown - which is a brooding place for anxiety and fear. I love this girl, I want to adopt this girl, I want to provide the best possible life for this girl. And I pray every night my wife and I will be able to.​In a life that's a whirlwind of chaos, anxiousness, and unknown I was awarded with a blissful moment of peace and joy. The way her little eyes focused on me, as if to look into my soul, and smile at me was the most beautiful moment I have been able to share with this child. It was consuming in the best possible way. I'm so jealous of parents who KNOW they get to keep their babies, because you get all the goodies without the fear and uncertainty of losing them.​Hug your babies/children a little extra today. Let them know you love them. For some of us - tomorrow is never guaranteed. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2L0QUnD