End of Our Rope

Today, my 5 year old daughter was suspended from Pre-K. She's been sent home for bad behavior off and on all school year. We've had a call every single day this week, and it ended with her officially being suspended today and tomorrow. Spring break is next week, so she will be out until the 15th.Normally, she's just loud and defiant on her bad days and we've been trying to avoid her being sent home because then she gets what she wants. But she was sent home one day last week, and now this week, and I don't know what to do. She's getting sent home because she has escalated to violence. The teachers also said she was pulling down her underwear and putting toys on her lady bits.We've done everything they've asked. We dragged her through evaluations. We're finally having a therapy appointment for her today that we've been trying to get since November. we've done conferences, and tried different methods. And it isn't just at school. It struck me yesterday that I am flinching when she gets mad.She's always been hardheaded and stubborn. When she finally got over colic as a baby, we thought it would be smooth sailing, but she explodes over nothing. If she doesn't get her way, it's a huge fit. She wants to be the boss, and hates when anyone restricts her. She hits, kicks, bites, screeching, everything. She rips my hair out or tries to break my glasses. It's like you have to head her off before she gets up enough steam. If she gets up enough steam, she is basically unstoppable, and all that can really be done is to hold her in bed until she falls asleep. Not trying to hurt her, but just trying to keep her from hurting us. And then she eventually falls asleep and usually wakes up in a better mood.When she's good, she's still stubborn and smart, too smart for her own good sometimes. She's funny and helpful and kind and loving. I just want to figure out what is going on and how we can help her. I have a 6 year old daughter as well, and she's being bullied by her sister when my youngest gets into one of her moods. We separate them, and discipline the behavior of course. Nothing seems to be working. Time outs. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Everything that we can find. Giving her more control. Explaining the reasons for our rules. Being more strict. Limiting electronic time. Getting rid of electronic time.Where do we go from here? I mean, therapy, yes. The county evaluated her and say she's on track, no delays. I just don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I are so exhausted and we are both at the end of our rope. Is there anything else we can try? Has anyone else on here survived this and have advice that can help us? I love her so much. She's my little duck. I just can't live like this. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2UsJtsN