Those who have had traumatic births, advice please?

Hello! I’m a new-ish mother, 9 months. I know my birth wasn’t as bad as some, but it was personally just very traumatic. It lasted 4 days, I got sent home from L&D twice with morphine shots. Then when I finally got sent to delivery, it took another day. They gave me fentanyl without telling me, and I later found that that was dangerous. They gave me pitocin without telling me as well. I wanted the epidural and it worked for awhile until I got to 9.5 cm and they couldn’t stop my body from pushing. She was coming whether my body was fully ready or not, which lead to tearing and extensive stitching. Afterwards I got to hold my little girl for all of ten seconds before she had to be rushed to the NICU because she hadn’t been crying. She had an 8 day stay where she had a lung infection after breathing in fluids, and her blood sugars were up and down for the whole time. It was terrifying.My question now, to all of you, is did you have more children? Did you get over your fear of a repeat? I’ve been to therapy about this so don’t worry about my mental health. I’m just curious because I’ve been thinking about the future. I’ve always pictured myself with a large family but now I’m quite nervous to have even one more. Has anybody else had something similar? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2pfNeQY