I feel it's appropriate to start from the beginning.I'm 29 years old with a 7 year old son. I got my sons mother pregnant when I was 21 and she was 20 and he was born at 22 and 21 for us. We were very young and dumb back then. We had been dating for about 4 1/2 years when she cheated on me with one of my co workers. We had broken up for a couple months and then got back together and recklessly engaged in unprotected sex for about a month after that. And surprise surprise! She was pregnant with my son.In the beginning of the pregnancy I was terrified that my son wasnt mine due to the closeness in which my ex slept with my old coworker and myself. Long story short, the kid is mine without a doubt in the world. Literally my double.Fast forward to when he was born. Baby mama and I were woefully unprepared for a baby. We both had no experience with them, and we thought it was all fun and games until he came out. THIS caused a huge strain on our relationship because, well honestly, we were very immature and werent ready. Another huge strain on the relationship was that she had post partum depression real bad.We overcame the hardships for the most part once we finally got in a sort of routine. My biggest issue was waking up at night with him. I would either refuse, or cause an argument if I ended up giving in and getting up to feed/change/sooth etc. This was absolutely my problem and I know that I was in the wrong. I cant change my past behaviors. But I can change my present and future behaviors which i eventually did (thanks to my wonderful wife).With the strains of me being an immature, excuse the language, asshole and her post partum depression, she started cheating on me again with a different co-worker. This was the last straw and we ended up sending things for good.My son was only a year old at the time. I moved back in with my parents to which I subsequently spiraled into a self destructive phase in my life that I deeply regret. Essentially I was going out drinking with new "friends" pretty much every night. My son was either with his mom or my mother when I was out partying like no tomorrow.I pretty much ignored my son for give or take a year. I would rarely spend more than an hour with him when I would get absolutely overwhelmed with my (I'm pretty sure it was a deep depression) emotions and selfishness.I witnessed the pain in my sons eyes every time I left. Looking back at it, it absolutely breaks my heart on the deepest level.Skip to a year after me and my ex broke up, I met the most kind, honest, and feisty woman to exist. We started dating while I virtually lied through my teeth about my situation with my son. I was basically lying to myself to make myself feel better.My girlfriend, now wife, was having NONE of that and practically beat me (figuratively) into changing my ways. Shes the first and only person to ever see right through my strait, bold faced lies. (Trust me....I'm damn good at it). Now, as she was slowly, but effectively, changing my mindset on my own actions and even my thought processes, I started to mend my relationship with my son.The mending process was very slow. I had no idea where to even start. We had no real set schedule so I would have him for a night here and there. I would still try to pawn him off to my mom for the night as I had my own place at the time. My still girlfriend and myself ended up buying our first house together and I proposed to her a month later. We got married a year later in a beautiful wedding. In that year I was still mending my relationship with my son. We were to the point where I had him every other weekish for a couple days at a time. Things were getting there and I definitely could see the progress.After the wedding when we got back from our honeymoon is when shit truly hit the fan. The week we got back I was served with papers for custody of my son.Now when I got this, i was angry. Very angry. I was also scared. I had been working and working on creating this relationship that we had. I did NOT want to lose it. In a way, the papers were a blessing in disguise. It put a fire under my ass. It was the first true fatherly thing I did since the inevitable break up. I was ready to fight, ready to fight for my son.Baby mama wanted to get full custody with me having every other Saturday and Sunday. Virtually no time with him. So I fought for 50/50 custody and ended up settling for every weekend Friday to Sunday. And during summer time when he eventually would start school. I got him Thursday to Sunday. Kind of reversing what she got.This was the greatest dicision to ever be made for our relationship. I now get him every week, and our relationship is great! We hang out, go and do fun stuff while also being a parent and not a friend. Now his mother and I have, in a way, mended things. Were able to somewhat co-parent. We had issues at first with discipline between her house and ours. Weve talked about it and now we have similar rules and whatnot.So that's my story. And yes I know it was incredibly long. But I feel that I needed to spill the beans to help people understand where I'm coming from.I'm absolutely thankful for my wife and her diligence with staying with me and not just high tailing it out of there. She saved everything about my being and helped me realize the harm I was causing. I regret every day the choices I've made, I dont do any of the unspeakable things I used to do. I gather my child and mentor him in ways I would never have thought possible. Parenthood is great.NOW to my question. I feel like all these terrible choices I've made and the selfishness of my actions have effected my son. Hes kind of a loner. As he was growing, neither of us knew anyone that had kids his age. I feel that my abscense caused him to have some social deficits that I dont knkw how to fix. I bring him to the park to meet new kids. I've gone to those play things with other parents for kids and he always just kind of seems off to the side. Not being anti social or shy. But STRUGGLING to fit in I guess. Like you can see that he tries, but gives up easily and just does his own thing.How can I help him make friends? or just fit in with other kids? Hes for sure not the sports type.....I've accepted the fact that hes the kid in the back field chasing butterflies which is fine for me. He just doesn't like sports in any way. He really likes video games which I feel is a product of not really having friends.Any suggestions would be great.Note: Please dont judge me for the choices I've made. I have to live with it every day of my life and that's hard enough. I've changed who I am which was one of the most challenging but rewarding things I could do. My absolute desire is to be the best dad I can be to my little boy. I love him with all my heart. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2xFjwbS
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