I’ve barely even made it a week.

Last week my wife gave birth to a son. Although I’ll spare you the details, it was NOT a beautiful, happy experience for anyone. Both mom and the baby are healthy, and I guess that’s a positive.That said, I absolutely HATE this so far. The sound of the little fucker even beginning to whimper sets my blood boiling...by the time he’s all red and screaming like a badger caught in a bear trap I verge on murderous.Between the absolutely brutal birth experience that I’ve already had nightmares about, the lack of sleep, and the miserable future I’m expecting, I think I can say that I 100% regret having a baby.I mean, I get it - it’s far too late to change anything. I’m a father whether I like it or not. Even if I’m not the biological father (which we’ll just gloss right the f**k over for now) my name is on all the paperwork, so your boy es “el fucto” as they say in Spain.Long story short, my wife wanted to have kid(s?) and I played along because I had no idea how awful this was, and also partly because I thought I’d be ready with 9 months to prepare. I even told friends I was ready to learn how to live for someone other than myself.Fact is, after only a week I am quite certain that isn’t the case. I already lament how little I’ve accomplished in my time, and having this little asshole anchoring me to a life I was barely happy with before he arrived is just abysmally depressing.Now I just feel utterly trapped in a job I hate, a marriage I was barely surviving, and now I’m getting no sleep and literally shit on daily.I’m doing my best, trying to help out and stuff but my patience and my ability to hold together are fearfully overdrawn.I’ve read that it could take months for me to bond with the baby, but I can’t even see myself lasting that long. I have deadass thought about crashing my car several times in the last few days. While driving. The last time I started crying because I desperately wanted to just not exist and I was ready to yank the wheel, but there was an older couple in a Buick in the way and they didn’t deserve to be involved.Adding to the fun, my wife is still a hormonal mess and not exactly an intellectual in the first place so I can’t talk to her about any of this.Is it normal for this happen to people? Does it go away?Any advice or criticism you have is welcome. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2xrf6Gk