Concerns about spouses relationship with kids

My spouse: diagnosed with add (severe), depression (severe), anxiety. Struggled with addiction and relapsing. Clean for 1.5 years. Takes antidepressants (max dose), add medication, vivitrol.I believe he's emotionally unavailable. A shell of a person. Discussions are met with I need to process what was said and get back to you. Never gets back to me. When I bring it up again, it's "I don't know".On to the kids (both 3). He has zero patience. The first whine or cry he goes through the roof and yells at them. A few other examples, struggling to get them in their car seats he's close to losing his mind, if they don't comply the instant he wants/asks them to do something he's extremely annoyed. He does control his anger when dealing with the kids if other people are around (friends, grandparents etc.) , So he's capable of controlling himself.There have been "discussions" of his treatment of them is unacceptable. He doesn't say anything, changes for a while and then snaps again. Then repeat. We have separated before (8 months) I had custody and he had visitation at our home. With divorce, I wouldn't be around to step in. We're financially dependent on him.It seems as though he's not capable of feeling/displaying empathy. His parenting style is authoritarian and he's very harsh with them. He isn't consistent with what he says he's going to do so they do mess with him more (ex. "If you do x, you won't get y." They do x, he still gives y). They listen to me because I am consistent and authoritative and display empathy for their struggles even if their silly to me (I have read How to talk so little kids will listen. It's been offered to him. He has yet to read it).I'm concerned for their relationship with him and their emotional development. Am I expecting too much from him? I don't have add or addiction issues so I don't understand his struggles. How can I help my kids? Is there anything that can help him?I go to therapy. He's goes to counseling. It doesn't seem to be enough. Is there anything else to try? Thanks for any help/information. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OuoCPs