Are some kids just intense and angry?

Our 4.5 year old daughter has always been a handful. She had bad reflux as a baby so screamed all the time, didn’t sleep. Blah blah (I’m so over telling this story four years later!)But from very early on she showed smarts and opinionated as all get out. She talked early and a lot. Like a lot. Without humble bragging we have pegged her language as 1-2 years beyond her peers from early on. She doesn’t show other signs of “giftedness” so she’s not a savant! But she could debate the finer points of watching another Peppa pig episode with us from the age of two.That’s half our problem. She won’t ever shut up. She demands our attention all the damn time. But it’s not nappy-ad style butterflies and rainbows with us colouring in with her for an hour. More like her demanding things be “just so” and asking or telling us things fifteen different ways because apparently “no” is not a complete answer or I cut the cheese 1 centimetre too long.She argued with me that she already knows how to drive a car so when she gets her learners permit (in 12 years!) I won’t need to drive with her.The other thing is she gets angry. Very angry. She can be as sweet as an angel for a couple of weeks with only basic kid-level crapouts and crabbiness once a day or so that last for a few minutes. But then she goes off and for a couple of weeks she will be shitty half of every day in total. Yelling. If I walk away and ignore her she comes after us yelling “come back here right now! Don’t walk away from me! Don’t ignore me!” (I swear she doesn’t hear this from us)If I try “staylistening” and quietly sit with her and say “I can see you’re angry, I’m just going to sit with you until you feel better” then she stands in front of me with her finger in my face yelling “stop! Stop it! I hate it when you do that!! Stop! Talking!”If I yell (which we rarely do) she yells back. She’s a big personality. She doesn’t get scared of my big Dad voice. If we give her time out in her room she will yell through the door and bang on it with dolls. Then open it up to yell out the door at us again. “I hate you stupid Dadda! I’m never going to play with you again!” Loudly. It’s not aww isn’t that hilarious little kids saying stuff like that. It’s more like I’m a little scared of her!She won’t let us comfort or cuddle her when she’s like that. Even when she’s happy she often won’t grant us the honour of a cuddle! She’ll say “later” to us! Sometimes she really loves it but otherwise she’s too busy or independent to cuddle. When she does it usually lasts about five seconds.I’ve read a few things on being a firm parent on being a gentle parent. Nothing seems to work when she’s like this. So now I’m a drinking parent!Is this a product of her being smart and too aware and getting anxious and overwhelmed by life and getting worn out but acting “up” instead of “down”? She doesn’t crash out like some kids I know. She busts out and gets demanding and particular. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MymMLz