Advice on coping with separation

Long story short I'm a father of a 4 year old boy who I've had 50/50 custody of since he was not even 2. His mother recently relocated 45 minutes away and enroled him in school there.As ashamed as I am to admit it I cannot drive due to a medical condition and financially I cannot afford nor do I have access to a reliable method of picking him up/dropping him off.We have a pre-existing agreement where she willingly offered to do 100% transportation, but now that she's demanding I do transportation for access.I haven't seen my son now in approaching 3 weeks and I'm dying inside. I miss my boy more than anything. She encorages negative behaviour toward me and her older children reacting when I speak with him just encourage the behaviour.I know in his tiny little heart he loves me, but what he speaks cuts me to the bone.Legal proceedings are ongoing, but any who've walked this road know it's far from quick. I'm terrified over court, because even though she's violating our agreement she has a lot of circumstance on her side. 4 other kids with two dads not in the picture. Needed a larger house so she moved for geared to income housing.She has allowed abuse toward her children from one absent father. Mine included. He's in and out of the home semi-regularly. Long enough to cause as much trauma as possible. When I approached child services they did nothing. Too busy in damage control mode due to allowing a local junkie to keep care of her newborn and having her roll over and smother her child. I only know this because after CAS didn't do anything I spoke with police and they informed me.I don't fear for my son on a day to day basis, but I do fear for his future. The chaos, disorganisation, periodic abuse can't be what's best.I've maintained a stable constant routine for over two years. I'm a good dad. All of this seems to be for the sole purpose of malice on her part. Ultimately because I didn't allow her batshit religious, essential oil peddaling neglectful ass to homeschool my son.To the point, I'm dying inside. My life is empty without him and every day he spends there she turns him against me more. I'm nearly non-functional after today. I managed to arrange something and she found some contribed excuse as to why it wouldn't work.Parents who are forced to unwillingly separate from your children, how do you manage? How do you find purpose in the day to keep moving forward.I'm sad, drunk and have spent the bulk of this day in tears over this. I miss my son and there's nothing I can do, but sit here and drink myself to sleep so I can have even a moment of respite.I'm a fucking mess and totally lost. :'( via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MAjojw