Motherhood. Day 19.

Sleepy newborn phase is over. Crying has begun.This is what real motherhood looks like. It’s not the after bath wrapped in a cute bear robe picture (although she is absolutely adorable in that picture!). It’s hitting that frustration level that makes you question your sanity. It’s laying your screaming baby down in the bassinet because you are so tired you don’t trust yourself holding her anymore. Your brain doesn’t function and you mumble incomprehensible songs and stories in hopes that your voice will soothe her. After trying everything, you collapse onto the nursery floor at 3am and just start sobbing right along side her. Helpless.You try to think of ways to calm yourself. Chocolate? Well, yah! But wait. Society says you need to get back down to your pre-pregnancy weight or it means you don’t care about yourself. After 40 weeks of limiting exercise and watching what you eat, you have to continue for another year during breastfeeding. Sacrifices. All. The. Time. Exercise is what releases your stress but you can’t do that because your body is still healing - so instead you get irrationally jealous and mad when your partner goes to the gym or plays volleyball. Oh whatever - when is there even time between feedings every 2 hours (or less!) anyways?Fuck it. You go grab 2 huge handfuls of chocolate hoping it will help you get through the next 3 hours until daybreak and life seems manageable again. It doesn’t help. You crawl into bed and wake your partner and ask for help rocking her. Singing. Anything to get her to stop crying. And then immediately feel worthless and shameful that you have to ask him for help. That you can’t take care of the basic needs of your child yourself. You look at your dog and wonder why you didn’t just get another doggie kid instead (oh and feel so guilty that your dog always looks so sad now..adjusting to not being his mommy’s #1 priority). How many things can you let down at once?Everyone says “just wait, it will get better” but it is sure hard to believe that when it doesn’t seem like there is an end in sight. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2x9KEkn