I'll try to make this as short as possible. Rationally I know there's nothing I can do. Rationally I know thinking about it nonstop is just making me sick. Rationally I know I'm powerless. But I am at my wits end and I see no end in sight.Basically, my (almost 5 years old) step daughter is now living at her birth mothers (will refer to her as BM, because she is a literal human shit and it's an abbreviation) Sunday night through Friday night.She does absolutely nothing with her, she puts on movies from the minute she picks her up from school, until she gives her a book to read to herself when it's time to go to sleep.If BM decides to actually cook that night, my daughter will eat on the floor and watch tv while she and her husband eat on the couch separately.BM sets no bedtime for her, she puts her in her room whenever it's convenient for her, which is normally around 9, 1.5 hours after what should be her bedtime.BM is also 7 months pregnant. Fetus has organized clothes in a dresser, furniture, and toys. My daughter has a bed, toys that we bought her because she had none, and a pile of clothes on her floor.We have full custody during summer, and she did not visit her for the last month of it. My daughter cried to me every day after the first week asking why she isn't coming. Asking me if she still loves her. Rationalizing it says how busy she is and that she just doesn't have time to see her.The parenting plan that is set in place was written up by BM and could not be contradicted due to a small town court making a clerical error.We cannot take her back to court until August of next year. My daughter is a very brilliant little girl. She, even during the summer when she did not have influence by BM, is very sassy, has a wild attitude when not put in check (which we did), and likes to challenge everything. None of those really concerned me because she is an extremely smart girl, and she is becoming herself, questing and learning things, and growing.But now that she's been back at BM's for the past two months, and those qualities are being allowed rather than altered (IE, if she has an attitude about not wanting to do something, her dad and I would talk to her and explain why she had to. If the attitude continued she would go to her room and calm down until she was ready to talk and then do whatever it is. At BM's, she is put in her room without having anyone talk to her and she normally screams it out for about an hour until she tires herself out and that's the end of it.)This has resulted in more meltdowns, more attitude, and less of time due to how often we have to calm her down and have talks. Of course we always do and never show her how upset we are, but it sucks.But enough of that, I'm terrified that once the fetus is born, my daughter's life there is going to get so much worse and we can't do anything about it. She already eats garbage half of the time there, she already only watches movies and is ignored, and she is already sleep deprived. I just know it's going to get worse, but probably not bad enough to get CPS involved.How the fuck do I make it until next August when we can bring BM to court and get nearly full custody?How can I help her through what BM is putting her through? What I currently do, is whenever she talks about something happening there, whether she knows it's bad or not, we just let her know that that won't happen here and we love her, as to not dwell too much.How do I stop thinking about it 24/7 and making myself sick?Help.TLDR: Birth mother to my step daughter is borderline abusing her, not bad enough to call cps. Birth mother is pregnant when abuse will get worse but probably not bad enough to call cps. Need help coping until we go back to court in August.Edit: My daughter always tells us she wishes she could stay with us forever but then in the same breath says she loves her BM. She cried while doing yard work the other day because she was sad that she doesn't get to do fun stuff like that at BM's. She doesn't understand why her BM doesn't do fun stuff or anything with her but is too young to realize that she is just a bad parent and it's very hard for her to cope with that. Felt like I should add that our daughter does realize that it's bad there and it's not just me and her dad hating her being there. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xdDnhN
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