What is the best way to address spouses lack of ownership in parenting and relationship?

I don't know if this belongs in parenting or relationship forum but I feel like other parents may have ideas on how to address my husband's lack of ownership in our life. I feel as if I am the person who keeps everything going. My husband has been chronically under or unemployed for the last 4-5 years. We are both medicated for anxiety/depression (fairly recent development). We have a 3.5 year old. He is a great Dad but not really a supportive spouse, and all together lacks follow through. I'm the person who manages all of the long and short term plans; I hold all of the emotional labor, make the vacation plans, plan the cleaning off the house (which he sometimes does), find jobs for him to apply to, work full time and do all of the daycare pickup and drop offs. Part of my depression stems from never having any alone time. I have maybe 10 min in the shower in the morning, and have time away from the kiddo during work, but once I come home I don't even get to poop alone. Bedtime is the same time as kiddo. I do the bedtime routine.The catalyst for this post is two-parts. This weekend was a mini getaway with my inlaws. On Sat we woke up and everyone looked at me and asked, so what are we doing? On a vacation that I was invited to, I still had to make all of the plans. I realize that this may run deeper than just my husband.Secondly, today during the eclipse my husband had my daughter look at the sun using sun glasses. It was overcast so I am hoping no permanent damage occurred. I realized that he didn't pay attention to the news/Facebook/Reddit posts about the eclipse and blindness and it wasn't until I mention it that he realized it was an issue.I love my husband. We have been together since high school (almost 2 decades) but I find myself thinking about divorce regularly so I could have a break, and not have to do everything.So, if you are still with me, what is the best way to bring up this overwhelming feeling of being overwhelmed? My husband is sensitive to criticism and I really want this to be a productive conversation with real positive outcomes.TL;DR: I need someone to be my mom via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2xmDaHY