Very challenging autistic daughter..

First is just like to say I worked for the UKs leading autism charity for 7 years, mental health and learning disability services for 6 and now been in SEN education for 10. I have attended every training course and qualification you can imagine and have experienced the extremes of behaviour...but am really struggling with my own daughter.She is very difficult about pretty much everything to the point it's draining me. She will argue and play up over the most normal requests and accused me of "shouting my head off" when I am low arousal all of the time. I even brought home a voice volume scale so I could demonstrate to her what shouting actually is.I feel bad for her. She is high functioning aspergers and has language measured at someone five years older than her years. However has very limited understanding of social skills and expectations. She seems to have no friends, and literally any advice or help I try to give, she twists to be some personal attack. I am very careful of anything I say to her as she is so sensitive, for example she has a problem with body odour as she is that age, so if she has used the roll on anti perspirant and spray deodorant And brushed her hair properly I'll say "you look really nice!" And she will say "so you are saying I don't normally look nice".It's really difficult watching her come home from school and say she doesn't have friends or that people have been unkind, but she won't accept any advice. I've spoken at length to her schools sendco, and taken advice from experts in my own workplace, I've sat with her reading social stories to understand that people do say mean things and you have to try and ignore it.She's wanted social media but she is in no way safe to use it as the slightest mean comment and she will feel terrible about herself, and then I seem mean. It's nearly impossible to deal with her as she wants to be more independent but is so vulnerable.I'm feeling a bit down about it tonight.... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2g0e9Pl