Background: Together for 7 yrs, separated for about 1.5 yrs. I have kiddo during the week, dad takes him on the weekend. We get along as well as we can, and co-parent effectively most of the time. It's a long story, but there was some emotional abuse. We're past most of that now, and we don't disagree much. I've learned to pick my battles.Here's what happened tonight:He came to pick up the kiddo a little later than normal. Per usual, he didn't ask how I was and started telling work stories pretty much instantly. I cut him off a few times to get our son's backpack ready, and his dad asked if I was mad because I was being quiet (not that he let me get a word in). I said no, it's just been a long day. I was/am feeling a little defeated. I was supposed to have an intro meeting with my new boss today, but I had to reschedule because our son had a rough day at day camp, and got sent to the nurse's office until I could pick him up. It's been a pretty tough parenting week. I feel like I got my ass kicked. Anyway.The ex totally brushes off my comment about the missed meeting, scoffs that it's not a big deal. Then he picks up right where he left off in a story about some project he's running late on. He expects me to care a lot, apparently. I've been getting pretty tired of our one-sided conversations, so I told him that I'd like to be able to talk about my day as well. I also reminded him that I've had to dedicate a lot of my work-time to being "mom", so when he complains about getting overtime it stings a little. I'd love to be able to get those kinds of hours. I said it nicely (or at least I think so?), but it still turned into a thing. Then he started raising his voice at me.We've had countless arguments like this. This is why I left the relationship. I see how unhealthy it is, and I know that I need to keep our son as far away from these conversations as possible. But of course, his dad escalated things when I tried to step away.Kiddo saw/heard this and for the first time ever, he actually stood up for me. WHAT. We've been working through some anger issues that have made school difficult for him (go figure), and he immediately recognized that his dad was in the wrong. He stepped between us and told him that he "was saying mean things". Then he showed his dad the anger workbook we've been doing after school, and read the title to him. His dad tried to defend himself, saying he was upset with me for a reason (at which point my blood was boiling -- how is that something our son needs to be privvy to). All the kiddo said in return was, "I'm smart enough to know when you're shouting at mom. You're not saying nice things."It's a situation that never should have happened, but I feel... proud? He recognized that his dad's behavior was out of line, and he did his best to step in. I'm also heartbroken. He should never, ever, have to do that. I hate that his dad can't understand why it's inappropriate to shout in front of him. And after all that, I had to watch my beautiful boy walk out the door with him.I don't really have a question, and I apologize if this isn't where this goes. I'm just trying to digest what happened. I needed to tell another parent, someone who would understand. I'm depressed/exhausted/proud/devastated? I need an internet hug? I want my boy home right now, so much, so I can give him a giant hug. But I'll have to wait until Sunday :(.TL;DR: My ex shouted at me when he came to pick up our four-year-old for the weekend. Kiddo stuck up for me, told him he wasn't being nice, and offered him a self-help workbook. He's kind of my hero tonight. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2wg2EHa
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