Mean girls

Hi. This is my first post on Reddit. I need only support and advice. My daughter is in fourth grade. She has been friends with a pair of twin girls since first grade. My husband and I are pretty good friends with the parents, and we've even vacationed together. My daughter has another very good friend since first grade, and we are pretty good friends with her parents as well. Let's call that friend Wendy. My daughter and Wendy have been in the same class every year since first grade, but the twins were only in their class in first grade (not second or third). This year one of the twins (let's call her mean twin) ended up in the class with Wendy and my daughter. Since the beginning of the year, mean twin has been hogging my daughter at school. For example, during recess she pulls her away if she's playing with other friends. She's always saying secrets at lunch and leaving Wendy out. My daughter is a follower, unfortunately. I tried explaining to her how this could hurt Wendy's' feelings and i made it clear to her that I did not want any secrets being told in front of others like that. Meanwhile, mean twin is also very mean to her sister. She says horrible things about her to her friends. The sister is more girly and outgoing, so she's always had more attention. Obviously mean twin is having some issues which are understandable. But their mom seems to really overprotect them and does whatever she can to please them. Wendy's mom and i even tried to bring it to her attention that mean twin wasn't being very nice in school. We were very sensitive about it. Well, that backfired. Mom spoke to mean twin and she turned it around on Wendy and mom believed her. I have no reason to believe Wendy is lying, as I have heard similar stories/complaints about mean twin from other kids. And her mom knows that she has said horrible things about her sister. This brings me to my current dilemma. Mean twin started recruiting some kids for the school talent show. There were several kids in the group, including my daughter, Wendy and another mutual friend. Mean twin does not want her sister in the talent show. Her sister really wants to be in it, since the mean twin basically recruited all their mutual friends to the group. Well, apparently the twins' mom got involved and now mean twin (who made herself the leader of the group) decided to divide the group and put Wendy, another friend and the twin sister in that group. She basically told them that they weren't in the group anymore because her mom said they couldn't do the talent show together. Now I know this mom and I know her way of thinking. I'm sure that the other twin complained to her and, in order to please both of them, she came up with the idea of splitting the group. But Wendy and the other kids really wanted to do it together. And the nice twin has no problem being in the group. It's the mean twin that doesn't want her in it. Now tell me, how is this ok in the mother's eyes? I understand that they each need their individuality and can't do everything together. But the fact is that they share the same friends. And those friends WANT the other twin in the group. So now the conflict between the twins is affecting their friends. What bothers me most is that my daughter follows this girl and doesn't defend her other friends. I've tried talking to her but she's very strong willed and she's not very open with me. But it's clear that she is manipulated by this girl. Besides this specific problem with the talent show, the underlying issue is that I'm afraid this girl is going to influence my daughter negatively. I feel bad because her mom is my friend, but the girl is just so mean! By the way, she's really sweet with adults and can be very nice and funny with her friends. She's just very possessive and I guess jealous. So what do you guys think? Am I overthinking this? Overreacting? Or do I need to put a stop to this friendship? And as for the talent show, I've already spoken to my daughter and she made it clear that she wants to do it with mean twin . But Wendy's mom is sort of upset because Wendy really wanted to do it as it was originally planned. By the way, Wendy spoke to the twins on speaker phone in the car while their mom was listening and she told them not once but twice that she really wanted for everyone to be in the group and the mom didn't say a word. I really want to confront this mom and tell her I think what she's doing is wrong. What do you think about that? Sorry if i rambled. It's late and I'm frustrated. And with all the problems in the world I can't believe I'm even dealing with this BS. Hopefully someone out there understand me. Thanks via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2querBJ