So, I deleted my last post because I worry about anonymity, but the tl;dr is that I was in an abusive relationship with my son's dad until he was 1 and a half (he is now three as of a month ago). I left him and got full custody due to abuse (against me) and neglect (of my son by him). My son has had issues with hitting me, hurting himself and excessive anger issues. A lot of you guys gave really good advice and did say that therapy was a good idea.I actually got an appointment the very next day and I was really optimistic! We have seen his therapist about 4 times and had one in home session so far. The woman who did his intake was a different therapist, but she was very attentive and listened to everything I said. His therapist will ask me questions and then never really hear anything I say. She has given me a couple suggestions for dealing with his behavior, but not really anything solid (My own therapist who has never met my son has given be better advice that has worked with him).I know that you have to take time to let them get to know each other since my son is so young. She recommended that he be evaluated by a speech therapist because he can be hard to understand sometimes (I understand him mostly just because I'm around him all the time, but I'm not sure how much a three year old should be able to pronounce. I'm definitely going to at least get him evaluated). But, that's really all she has done. Every time I discuss his behavior, she kind of acts like none of it is a big deal. She will ask me like "Well, what is the problem?" and I say "Well, him slapping me and scratching/biting/hurting himself, etc..."This week has been exceptionally bad and I have lost my temper a few times. I've started keeping a diary of the things that have been happening to go over with her. But, my son has been having really bad emotional outbursts. Last night he woke up around 12am. I took him back to bed and he will do this thing where he will ask for a cup of water, I'll hand it to him and he will say "No! Put it back!" And then demand it and then not want it. Repeat ad naseum for LITERALLY two hours last night until it eventually turned into him screaming at the top of his lungs, trying to slap me in the face, hurting himself...I try ignoring, I try soothing, I try talking to him, I've lost my temper and yelled at him, I've held his hands down and asked him not to hit me or himself, I've smacked his hands when he hits (But, I feel really hypocritical when I do that so I try to avoid it). Sometimes I just have to grab him and hug him really tightly and hold him down and just talk to him until he calms down. Sometimes that works, but only after him screaming for sometimes an hour or more. I laid in his floor and eventually he just wore himself out and fell asleep from about 2:30-5am.We normally get up that early, but he literally woke up screaming in my face demanding water, demanding food, etc...I got up and told him that he needs to ask me nicely for things. (He has access to water and knows he can get that himself, I don't deprive him) He ended up screaming in my face and head butted me in the eye! That is the THIRD time he did that this week! He was so angry he was shaking! He started throwing toys and random things so I put him in time out. He wouldn't stay so I had to hold him there. He started the water demand thing and then won't want it, repeat repeat. Then hitting me and himself. He eventually calmed down enough and I left the room until he calmed down in time out.I came back to talk to him and explained hitting isn't nice and if he needs things he needs to ask nicely. He actually kissed my eye better where he headbutted me. He doesn't really acknowledge when I tell him these things, but acts as if he is listening.I'm just at my wits end. I keep losing my temper and yelling at him. I don't want to be that parent. His therapy appointment is this morning and I'm going to tell her all these things. I am trying to give her a chance (my therapist says always try for 6 weeks first). But, I don't know if she's a good fit. Or if maybe he is being normal and I don't know how to handle it. I'm starting to just feel like a really terrible mom that doesn't know how to raise my child.Sorry this is so long and maybe rambling a lot. If you stuck with me this long or remember my old post any and all advice is welcome. I really appreciate it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2rUh5Pb
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