How much do you let kids dictate living arrangements?

Ok, so this is my first time posting in parenting because I just need some opinions.I have an 8 year old and I kind of feel like we've screwed him around a bit as parents. My relationship with his mom was mostly over and then she got pregnant which was a big surprise. We did not stay together, we ended up in different cities actually, kid was with his mom and I saw him when I could and then for weekends and things when he got older. We've always just tried to co-operate about the kid. By the time he was 5 his mom was with this guy who actually assaulted her, years before me she was in another relationship with some violence too. Soon after that the guy hits my kid and I find out about it all so I say to her, I don't think he's a good guy to have around, I care about you, I can't make your decisions but can I have the kid? So I actually end up with him for about 2 years in the end, which was great. I was single most of the time so it was just him and me. Meanwhile mom breaks up with that guy. When kid is 7 he goes back to mom. Mom has another guy who seems decent, kid likes him, mom's engaged. I got married too, we're having a baby in July. We moved a few months back and are much closer to kid's mom. (what I'm saying here is that I think we're both quite stable with relationships now)So that's our background. And probably far too much information. But since kid went back to mom.....and especially since we moved....kid wants to be with me. He's been acting out a whole lot, doesn't listen, wants to fight about things, rude, his school's had complaints too. And in between it all he's throwing out that he wants to live with dad.So...do we give in to that? Is that a terrible message to send? If he acts like a lil butt, while saying what he wants and then gets it. Should we tough it out? Or is this deeper than that? Is it a power struggle or is it something that really would be better in the long term? Because I'm happy to have him, we all live closer now, mom is tearing her hair out over him right now. He would have to change schools again, which isn't the best.So I guess the TLDR is 'how much input - and influence - do you let the 8 year old have when it comes to where they'll live'? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2pJwykh