Tuesday, 2 May 2017

3YO battling bedtime for nearly 3 years


Hello r/parenting,My wife and I have major issue with our 3 YO son who has been battling bedtime since the day we put him into his own room. We kept him in a bassinet in our room for the first few months, then attempted to transition him into his crib, which turned out to be a knock-down, drag-out nightmare.Due to my wife working evenings as a nurse, the bedtime routine was left to me which I had no problem with at all. I always kept a consistent routine of bath, a little playtime, 20-30 minutes of reading then getting him into his crib. The problem was he would never be able to fall asleep, nor stay asleep, without being held or rocked. He could be out cold and as soon as I put him down he would be wide awake screaming bloody murder. So I would get him back to sleep, only to repeat the cycle for as many as 1-2 hours on some nights.Finally I did some research across the internet and tried the method of getting him almost to sleep then putting him in his crib and letting him fall asleep on his own. That only pissed him off even more so bedtime took even longer than before.After a few weeks of that I started trying the Ferber method. We would do our normal routine of bath, play, reading, then I would tuck him in and say goodnight and let him cry for a few. I would then go in and comfort him, tuck him back in, then attempt to leave the room and the screaming would start all over again. Admittedly, there were a few nights where I was so exhausted from working 12-hour days that I would fall asleep on the couch in between trips to his room for a few hours and he would still be in his crib screaming and soaking wet from tears.A few months went by and I started asking myself "what am I doing wrong". I must also add that this failed bedtime routine was putting a tremendous amount of stress on my marriage for many reasons. First, I wasn't getting any sleep due to being up until 11:00pm on some nights (I typically woke up at 5:00am for work). Second, my wife would be tired from working the evening only to come home to a screaming child and thinking I was neglecting him.At around one year, we decided to consult our pediatrician and he said "since you've tried many things already with no success, it is time to give the cry it out method a shot as a last resort". So again, we would do our normal bedtime routine with a little relaxation time after playtime to let the kiddo calm down before bed. I would read to him, tuck him in, kiss him goodnight and leave the room. I would make a few visits after that but after the second or third visit I wouldn't go back in and let him cry it out and put my headphones on and play video games......except he wouldn't stop. Some nights he would cry for upwards of 3-4 hours. Eventually his crying would last for less than 30 minutes and I saw that as a major victory. This continued until it was time to switch over to a toddler bed because he figured out instead of crying he would just climb out of his crib.At around 2 and a half we made the transition and it feels like we're back to square one with the crying and screaming. I read a book about the 100 walks method so I gave it a try. It seemed like 1,000 walks when it was all said and done. The first several nights he would get out of bed and I would put him back in bed for several hours until the point where I had to go to the doctor because I messed up my back. We went out and let our son pick out his own bedding to get him excited about his own bed, and he seems excited up until the point where it is time for bed. Lately, as our pediatrician has advised, I have been letting him cry in his room after I leave. That lasted a few nights until he starts banging on the door and jumping on his bed to the point where he hurts himself. I've even moved bedtime back as much as an hour to see if this helps to no availI literally don't know what to do at this point. I'm mentally and physically exhausted from nearly 3 years of toddler screaming and wish I could just go away to a place where I didn't have to hear it. I'm sleep deprived and it is putting a strain on all aspects of my life. I know what I just typed isn't well organized or easy to read but I'm just looking for any advice where I can get it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2pCQWDN

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