I've been a parent for all of six weeks and I figured this was a good plac to drop off six experiences

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and the ABCs are the same song and I have them both stuck in my head with my own voice singing. I've tried to change the voice by doing accents and impressions and now it sounds like the cast of Harry Potter, Cookie Monster, and my grandmother from Kentucky are switching verses in my head.There's nothing quite like the feeling of warm spit running down my spine after a shower.A blowout in between the split second of switching out a diaper is what happens when the bomb isn't properly defused and everyone dies a bit on the inside as a result.My wife and I switch shifts like Vegas dealers. There's nothing like going to bed at 2 am and waking up at 6 am to walk the dog.Sick relatives currently have a travel ban. Anyone already within the borders of our home are to stay ten feet away from the specimen and wear gloves and a mask at all times.Making up or altering nursery rhymes are a must for my sanity. Here are a few of my favorites:Modified Lil John songFrom the windows to the wallTo my comfy bed I crawlAw sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep sleepAww sleep sleep Wha whaA B Cs modifiedA B C D E F G why won't you just go to sleepAnd of course Death Cab For Cuties "Follow You Into The Dark"Love of mineSomeday you will cryAnd I'll be close behindCrying with you into the darkIf Preschools and daycares decidethat they both are satisfiedIlluminate the no's on their vacancy signsIf there's no one besides you when you're mother embarks,than I'll cry with you into the darkI'll cry with you into the dark via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2mJ5KO2