What do you wish you discussed with your spouse before you had your first child?

Hi guys, we are about to have our first child in June and things are starting to get real. We were wondering what should we talk about now and prepare so we can enjoy our first year with the little girl instead of exhaustingly argue. About us: early 30ies, happily married for 7 years and the child was planned. Both professionals (9-5 kinda jobs, although the husband has a startup so probably more flexibility), both make about the same money and neither of our jobs is “more important” then the other’s. Also we do need both jobs as Southern California is quite expensive and we can’t raise a kid with one income. We both have engineer mentality and we will have our first child in June and our families live far away so no support from them. Everything in our household is fairly 50/50: cooking, laundry, chores etc. How do we prepare for this child so we still love each other after the first year? What should we talk about and prepare now? We are not worried about the material things, we will figure that one out. The question comes in more: who wakes up at night? who changes the diapers? We know children cry, do we both wake up and take care of the child or alternate so each parent gets some sleep. Me, the mother will be home for the first 3 months and I plan on breastfeeding (which means waking up every 2 hours), I know I will take care most for the child during those 3 months but I would also like to sleep sometimes and also for my husband to help sometimes (even though he will have to work during days I assume my days won’t just be like days at the spa). When should he help? I assume I can’t pump that much at the begin so I don’t know if sometimes we should bottle feed her at night formula so I can get some rest and the husband can feed? Should he wake up at night to change the diapers and I breastfeed? After I go back to work in 3 months little girl is going to daycare and I will probably stop breastfeeding. What do we do then? Do we alternate nights for feeding/changing? What works? What is important to discuss about now and plan so when the baby comes we all are happy and not two overworked, exhausted adults trying to keep a crying baby alive. What happens when we are both very busy at work and have to stay late, do we just leave the little girl in day care until one of us can pick her up or we flip a coin to see who picks her up? What else do we need to talk about now because I assume 3 months from now when little girl is here we won’t have that much time to talk? What worked for you and what do you wish you knew before you had children? Thanks a lot for your advice. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2nMM8Nz