Six months ago, I found texts between my then 12 year old daughter and her friend, talking about wanting to have a sleep over so they could cuddle and hold each other. I didn't think anything of it at all as I remember what it was like to be 12 and exploring a whole new world of hormones, friends, and relationships.My daughter and her mom recently moved to another state (we're divorced) and she was very sad to leave her friends, especially her bff. She is about to turn 13 and now has a phone. I monitor her phone/email use from time to time and today I found emails to her bff where she sent videos of her singing and playing songs for her. One was a cover song, and when she sung a line about "he kissed her", she paused and spoke into the camera "or... she kisses her" and then continued.The second video was an original song she wrote, saying that she "can't sleep because I'm thinking about all the things we'd be doing." In both emails she also talked about being "high". I don't know if that meant anything as she was home with her mother and didn't look/sound like she was on anything.First of all, I want to say what an awesome song it is! I probably quoted the words wrong, but it sounds so great and I'm really proud.Second of all, my issue is not with the fact that it's a girl. I experimented with boys when I was her age (but I didn't write nice songs!).She knows I have access to her texts and emails and she is not being secretive. I am just wondering if this is something I should talk to her about. I am wondering if it would be helpful for her to know that what she is doing is completely normal, and that I experimented with boys and girls. My parents didn't talk to me at all about sex, just shoved a book under my door and said "read this". As a result I've never been a good communicator about sex, have been secretive about everything, and ruined all my relationships.I also don't want to tell her mother. The last time I told her mother about some questionable texts she took away her device and told the other children's parents (one was her bff, who also had her device/accounts taken away). I felt super bad for outing her, and think her mom made the punishment harsh because she didn't agree with me letting our daughter have instagram - it was kinda like "see, told you she shouldn't have IG". Thing is, whether she has IG or not, she will use email, or another friend's phone at school, or whatever.Do you think I"m overreacting? should I just leave it, or would it help to talk to her. I would love for her to know she can talk to me about anything, but I don't want this to backfire and her become secretive like I was.TL;DR 13 yo daughter going through normal teenage feelings. Should I (her dad) attempt to discuss to let her know it's normal or leave it? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2lXRX7j
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