I don't even know where to start here. I may be overthinking it because of my current state of stress.My son and his best friend (both sixteen, nearly seventeen) dated for a short while after being friends for a long time. Then after the breakup, they reconciled. Both have minor mental health issues (depression) that at times have been worse than others. B They are exceptionally close.My son came to us a few months ago, after we moved out of state, and said that his friend wanted to visit some time this summer. We said sure, and he said "how about late July?" and we said sure.Since that happened, our lives have literally fallen apart in a big way. My husband had a mental health breakdown and was put on a medication that made him extremely violent (with me, not the kids), to the point that he was arrested and I had to get a temporary restraining order. Because of this, CPS got involved. He also lost his job because of it and we have both been unemployed for months and are dangerously close to homelessness. However, overall, trying to look on the bright side, things are good and improved in many ways- no more violence (he was taken off the meds) and CPS is really pleased with our progress, compliance and initiative to change and improve. Everyone in the home is getting mental health help as needed and everyone is happy and healthy for the most part. Husband does struggle and so do I, especially with the court stuff, CPS, and finances hanging over our heads. But we are handling it all really well.However, with all of this, I TOTALLY wasn't thinking about my son's friend coming. Until two weeks ago when he said "She bought her ticket, nonrefundable!" I was totally in shock. Her mother is one of the most overbearing, strict parents I've ever met. It was implausible to me that a ticket would have been purchased without her mother even confirming a visit with me. I haven't spoken to this woman in a year and a half.So, I called her. She confirmed that the tickets had been purchased. She also told me that the kids are planning on having sex and that she is holding my son personally responsible if this happens. She said that it would 'remove her daughter's value' and that her daughter has worked too hard in therapy the past year to lose her virginity to a boy she isn't even dating any more. She said that her daughter's therapist does not necessarily agree with her on this. I don't either. But I also don't want my son going down for something like this. And I don't want to be responsible for it happening under my roof.I'm also not sure if I should tell her about the open court case and CPS case. There is nothing unseemly happening in our home, no drug or alcohol abuse, no physical or emotional abuse. CPS is finishing up the mandatory period they have to be involved, but believe everyone to be safe. Our home is overwhelmingly a happy and safe place. But, these are factors that are at play right now.I'm angry with my son for not telling me about their plan. We are an open family and discuss sex and relationships freely. I had asked him outright and he lied to me. I was shocked to hear her mother tell me their plan.My husband wants to cancel the trip. I'm not so sure. These are good kids who are just KIDS and have both been through so much and have looked forward to this a lot.Please, I can't take anything else right now so if you are in judgment of me, please move along. Any sincere advice is much appreciated.ETA spoke with son and he says she has these plans but he has told her he isn't interested in a sexual relationship with her. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2G2Hx1N
No comments:
Post a Comment