I hate being a mom, I hate my husband, my kids annoy the hell out of me, especially when he's home.

Days like today make me wish I made very different choices when I was younger. I'm 39, two kids, 7&5. They are wonderful, funny, beautiful, smart kids. They are also whiny, manipulative, picky, lazy, weirdos that I can't stand sometimes.Their dad coddles and doesn't help with anything related to teaching them household responsibilities or respect of time. He doesn't back me when I'm trying to get them to do a simple task like put their clothes away. They know this and will either argue or play til he jumps in and 'helps' (does it for them) after i've told them for the 10th time. The house is always a mess because I am the only one that cleans and the 3 of them destroy and I give up.If the answer is 'no' they think they can whine and argue til the answer becomes yes. This usually happens 9/10 times with dad, but very very rarely with me and never when the tone is whiny or anything other than respectful.I absolutely hate hate hate when I get frustrated and raise my voice. I absolutely hate when I allow them to make me that angry. I absolutely hate I feel like I'm alone trying to raise respectful, smart, independent, responsible, caring, kind, active, non-bratty individuals. They are very much all about their fun, carefree, friend of a dad.They tell him things, they don't really talk to me because they fear how I may react. This hurts me so much because I know in my heart that I cannot do what he does and have anything other than entitled little shits. I see so much potential in them that I want don't want to stifle, he would rather have them in a bubble. I can't find a balance. I just want to cry. I want to give up.Then I realize that if I give up, they will have no one to really help them strive to be better and do better than our small, going nowhere, nothing small town.They won't have someone help them explore their true interests and encourage trying new things, even if it's hard. They won't have someone to push them a little when they're having a bit of anxiety about something new. They won't have someone encourage them to keep going when they want to give up (on the flip side they will have someone to encourage them to quit or simply not try).They won't have someone that teaches them the importance of being on time, keeping promises, being reliable, dependable and willing to help others.I hate myself for not being their friend they want to talk to about their feelings, but I'm trying. I'm trying to figure out to convey the message that they can feel however they feel and also how to work through those feelings constructively. I never want to be my own mother, but I certainly don't want to be my MIL either.This is long. I needed to vent. I needed to calm down. Now, against ever fiber of my being, I am going to cook a meal separate from what I fixed because apparently, they don't like any of it since it's altogether in one dish...even though they like everything individually. And no they don't have food touching, mixing aversions. They also get hangry, so I will spend an extra 5-7 mins to be sure they eat so their moods will become far more tolerable.Thank you for reading this far. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2K1Xc2u