My son, Gus, is 3 and he has a new toy that he loves and it's a real toy. It's not the caps of markers, tires off of toy cars, water bottles or pictures of buses he lines up. It's a real toy.He uses it appropriately too. I'm so damn happy.It's one of those Target brand 18 inch dolls. I bought one for my niece for her birthday and my son saw it and instantly wanted it He's autistic, low verbal and doesn't speak unpromped very often so when he started saying "Open. This this. Gus want" it was hard for me not to open it, but i was scared he just liked the color of the box. Also, it wasn't for him and he just doesn't get stuff becasue his meltdowns wear me out and give me bruises. The meltdown was epic and lasted a long time.The next day I went out and found one at a thrift store for $2 in great shape, but naked. I bought it some footless preemie pajamas just like his and we brought it out during speech. That day he learned the word 'dolly' and uses it appropriately and regularly.He takes it with him and it sits and watches him line up his buses and he likes to sing the song "Daddy Finger" over and over and he uses the dolls hands to do it too. His way he wants anyone to 'play' with him is for them to just watch what he's doing and not move. I love it. This doll is the perfect playmate.My husband's family is coming to visit to essentially meet Gus for the first time. They have little understanding about autism and are not big planners, so we found out that they're camping 45 minutes from town. My son hates dirt, is scared of leaves and the wind, is a runner and has learned to climb fences and doesn't look back or have 'stranger danger', so this is going to be the most stressful thing for him AND us. He self harms when he's too stressed (bangs his head) and doesn't feel pain, so he'd go full force on concrete if we let him. We've transitioned him to jumping on a trampoline instead of head banging and it's fucking amazing but we can't bring that with us.My SIL has 2 girls that are 2 and 7. They love American Girl dolls and have about 20 or more. They only have American Girl dolls and they take them everywhere. They're young and all young kids have issues sharing, but the older one threw a gift we got her across the room becasue it was the wrong color. She doesn't share well and my SIL has a more lax idea on parenting in general. Now, I totally see an issue. Even if they only bring 3 or 4 thats still a few of the same type of a toy he's obsessed in multiple colors that can be lined up and counted. We work with him on this every day and he's gotten so much better, but he's still a challenge and he's only 3. Someone taking his buses or his rubber wheels he uses as finger puppets is a great way to have a whole day meltdown. He won't give up. he won't concede. He'll just flip his lid and get stressed and it's just going to be horrible for all. Do I ask them to not bring a bunch? Do I get one or two more so he has his own to line up? Do i just make him deal? He's meeting 10 new people, we're going to be outside when he hates getting dirty and hates leaves and he won't be sleeping in his own bed. It's a lot to ask from him as it is and we're only staying one day, but this feels like it's too much. 2 more dolls wold be about $70ish dollars, $25 if he'll go for the cheaper dolls from Hobby Lobby. I'm not going to count on thrifting more dolls as I'm sure that was just a lucky break.On the other hand, who am I to dictate what toys they can bring? I understand how crazy that sounds and if it were me and I had no real idea about Autism I'd be mad that someone even suggested it.This toy is one of the things on his list that he WONT compromise one. He won't budge, he won't stop, he won't leave it be. We've been practicing walking down the aisle and even that is insane. Our behaviorist suggested to take small steps at a time and don't push him to fast too hard. We're camping in less than a month. Ugh this is a hard thing and I don't know what to do. I just know we have to go. He can't be in a bubble and needs to get out into the world but I don't know where to draw the line.I don't want an angry Gus banging his head on the floor but i don't want to be THAT crazy mom. I kind of just want to stay home, but they're coming 8ish hours in the heat. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2qKmSFn
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