This is gonna be long. I just need to vent.I am a SAHM of two toddlers (3&2 yrs) and an infant (3m). One on the spectrum. My levels of stress are normally high and my patience is usually running low, but it's all part of parenting I guess.I willingly signed up for this, I just didn't know how hard it'd be and on top of that, autism added a fun twist I was absolutely definitely not expecting.Today I think I was asking for help. I needed a break. I was sleep deprived, tired, burn out, bored and extremely irritated by my husband and kids.The whole Saturday my husband and I were in a tense mood. I wanted to sleep in for a little bit but his mom was coming over for breakfast. I didn't communicate well my wishes and my husband woke me up at 7:00 am by letting my toddler girl in the room and once she sees me it's game over I have to get up. Strike one.So I get up all angry because I just wanted one morning away from my regular chores of waking the kids up, getting them dressed, feeding them, battling them with them to eat what we have, clean up while my infant screams her head off because she's either hungry or wants to be held. I just wanted to not do that again for one day. But I got up, whatever.Then, my awesome mother in law offers to take one kid and I gladly accept. Then I proceed to go grocery shopping and some errands by myself since my other toddler is happily watching tv and my baby is taking a nap. I find walking around the store relaxing when I'm by myself.Halfway thru my errand my husband calls me and tells me to come back, my mother in law had an emergency and he was gonna have the 3 kids all by himself in like 10 mins so I had to come back. I juggle these kids by myself all the time, he does too. So I come back and offer to take one since I wasn't done shopping. Strike two.My autistic son can be a handful at times. This time I had to fight him to get in the shopping cart car or in the main basket so I could shop. He ran away a couple of times and threw himself on the pavement in the parking lot because he wanted to do something else. This is normal for me, nothing I hadn't dealt with before.So I come back home and the kids are ready to nap by noon, I managed to feed the toddler who was with me while shopping so I could come back home and just put him to sleep. I found my husband at the table in his phone with my other toddler just starting to feed her, 30 minutes later I'm rushing to put them down for nap and my husband asks me all kinds of questions and it irritates me. He knows the schedule and I still need to coach him on where everything is and what has to be done. I've done this before he knows how to do this, the schedule and I've explained before several times where everything is.We spent the remaining of the nap just cleaning up and tidying up the house since we had company over for dinner. We cleaned and we cooked just to be stood up by our company in the end. Strike three.We pack the kids and go for ice cream to try to save the day. My husband and I get ice creams, my husband asks for nut free ice cream for myself and he get his own ice cream. I ended up sharing mine to the kids since it was the only one nut free one he ordered while my husband enjoyed his without having to share. I didn't eat anything.At this point I can feel tears filling up my eyes uncontrollably. I can't help it. I was feeling too upset. I wanted to cry. So after an hour we go back home and I break down while driving back home. My husband then realizes I'm serious and offers to give me a break.I dropped everyone off and I took off to the mall. I had dinner out and ended up going to the movies by myself, my husband offered to do the night feeding so I could rest and I'm supposed to sleep in.I come back late from the movies to find one toddlers still awake so I spent the next hour on the floor sitting next to her crib while my husband sleeps. Once my toddler is asleep then I go back in my bedroom and I sleep.One hour later here I am. Feeding the baby while my husband sleeps. I woke him up to help me, all he had to do was give our baby the pacifier while I prepared the bottle so she doesn't cry too much and gets too worked up. No. He can't wake up, he's tired so he doesn't understand what I'm asking him so I do it myself, got no time to wake him up and explain again. It's annoying to try to get him to help me and explain to him what needs to be done when we do this often and he knows. He passed out and he's sleeping.Here I am. Too pissed off to sleep. I need a break. I needed a break. If I had know I was gonna spend an hour on the floor trying to convince my toddler to sleep and feed my baby later I wouldn't have gone out in the first place.If you made it this far, thank you. I just need to vent, I'm getting to irrational so I don't even know if I'm asking for too much. I'm sad and all I wanna do is cry, I'm feeling lonely. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2qFZ75b
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