Tuesday, 9 May 2017

A child bit and pulled my kid's hair, I'm pretty unhappy with how everything is being handled.


As soon as I saw the bus approaching and my child's face while standing next to the driver, I could tell something wasn't right. My kid is just like me, meaning he's this happy cheerful person and he's also awful at hiding his emotions. He didn't even say bye to the bus driver, he came straight to me and said "mom, someone bit me and pulled my hair." Okay, I instantly get submerged by the usual really upset momma bear but I restrain from asking him too many questions and I mainly just want him to tell me what happened. So I asked him "Oh no, what happened hun?"Then he started crying, holding his shoulder and saying that "it really hurts mom." At that point I rushed home (which is thankfully 2 houses down!) and I told him to show me. Now keep in mind that we're in Northern Canada and that it was only 3 Degrees yesterday. He had his spring/ rain coat, a hoodie and his polo AND I could still see the red spot of the bite mark. It really wasn't hard to tell that my kid was bitten. It was also in between his armpit and head, there is absolutely no way he could have reached it himself.Fine, no panic. I clean it up, disinfect it and then put a band aid. He sounds ok, he's reassured there is no blood. So I asked him what had happened and he said that his best friend (let's call him F) bit him in the bus and pulled his hair. Okay, I know that asking too many questions can be unhelpful and confusing so I asked him if he could just tell me exactly what happened from the moment he got on the bus.He said that F and him were playing by being their usual silly and that he sat on F like he apparently does a lot and that when he got off him, F bit him and pulled his hair. I said, fine, let's go on and move to something new. I let him get changed and go play while I called the school. The secretary transferred me to the principal who told me that she was going to take down the two boy's names and meet them both tomorrow, that she's sure that no biting happened. I was a bit thrown back by this because... Yes, he has a bite mark on him and that I took pictures to prove it. Her tone changed and she simply said "did you talk to him about some things he can say and do to not become a victim of other children when it comes to aggressiveness? And I'm completely frozen and just tell her "excuse me?" And she says "like saying no, and get off me, yell for help." And I'm like, yeah ok, we'll work on those. Let me know how the meeting goes tomorrow please.That annoyed me, while I understand the importance of teaching your children to help themselves, a victim doesn't choose to be a victim. I'm fairly sure my child didn't ask to be bitten. So anyway, my husband gets home, I tell him about what happened and his reaction was pretty much "oh you know, our son probably wasn't innocent either, I would have dropped the issue even if it's not right." Wtf! And I'm 100% sure there IS more to the story but it doesn't make it okay or acceptable that he was bitten AND if ever my son is lying, if he's the one biting or if he's constantly being mean or a bully to others, well I want to know, I want to know ASAP so that we can work on it and have good chances of getting help before it's a habit.Anyway, we all went to bed, and this morning I sent my kid to school, told the bus driver to maybe avoid sitting him next to F because my kid says that he was bitten by him and the bus driver says "noooo he wasn't, they just play rough." AND OMG. I was fuming by then. I told him, sorry but my son has a bite mark on his shoulder and I highly doubt he did it to himself. The bus driver said "really?" and he said that for the past week, my kid and F were being really distracting in the bus and that he's had to change them places a couple times but that they always want to sit next to each other. Fine, so I tell him to have a nice day and that I already made the school aware and all and that it should be handled.Then, this morning, the principal called me back saying the bus driver had spoken to her too and that she sees that I'm taking this very seriously and that I should realize that this is "just a bite mark and some hair pulling." And I really couldn't hold it in anymore, I told her that they have a zero violence policy and that THIS IS violence and that by experience it could undermine SO many other little things, that yes, they're both in kindergarten and that this might be a one time occurrence but that I won't allow my child to come home with bite marks and pass it as them "just being bite marks." She just replied that I was right and that it was violence so that by their school laws if my son is right, because there are two sides to every story, then F would be kicked out of the school bus for 3 days at least and to keep in mind that he lives very far from the school and that both of his parents work. That they'd also have to report it to the school board and that F and my kid will still be in the same class and same school for probably another 7 years.well F (not the kid's name) me. I told her to investigate, talk to both kids and figure out what happened and that if it was indeed violence, that she should treat it as such and that if it isn't and that my child is the problem, I want to know ASAP to find a solution. She said that she'd keep me updated but that she's not expecting much out of kindergartners. I told her that from my preschool teacher experience, that wasn't true and that if we listen, we learn a lot from these kids, because they're at that age where they are eager to please. She's supposed to call me when she meets with both children to update me... But it's upsetting that this can't just be a "a kid was bitten and hair was pulled, let's see what happened."That's all. Thanks for letting me unload all this here. Did you kid ever get bitten once they started school at 5+ years old? What happened?TLDR: my 5 yrs old kid got bitten, everyone seems to think that it's a really small deal or that it didn't happen. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2prJ3iC

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