The more I type the worse this gets so here is the short version.We are leaving our first home to move across the country to a town I grew up in and moved from 10 years ago (job related move).I am a full-time working mother working in a family business (200+ employees) with a strong chance of becoming CEO and owning a large portion with my brother (within the next 10 years). My husband is a stay at home father to a 15m old girl. They are both perfect and I love them dearly...but:Daughter - 1. My girl just won't go to bed recently and wakes 3 or 4 times during the night...she has NEVER had this issue, even as an infant. 2. My girl wants to nurse (BooBoos) ALL the time now. 3. She doesn't want me to leave and will stand up and scream MaMa and cry when I have to go to work if she wakes up when I am leaving. 4. She is starting to "test" us but is still kind and sweet - this part isn't a huge deal.Husband- 1. Tells me to bring her to bed with us if I can't get her to sleep, I do but then he gets aggravated if he is the one trying to help her fall asleep (last night for example). 2. I ALWAYS put her to sleep but am trying to encourage him to help so that I will have the energy to give him other things he wants, or accomplish something I want. 3. Last night he said we should just put her in her crib with toys and she could play herself to sleep. It just doesn't work that way. That seems so wrong to me...like punishing her by making her be alone because she is unable to fall asleep. 4. He wants sex, movies, co-showering when she goes to bed - but she won't go to bed, he can't help get her to bed, if it is a bad night it can drain me to the point of no return and I can't participate in those things. 5. He is afraid because I am about to go on a business trip for 2.5 days without them, I feel so guilty. 6. This morning when she was freaking out because I was leaving he asked if she woke up because I kissed her bye (I told him it was) and he said I should stop kissing her bye - the thought of this rips my heart out, but so does her screaming my name and crying and me HAVING to leave because of work (I am often late because of my daughter).....I just want to be with her and I feel like the worst person on the planet leaving for work over being with her.Myself - 1. I am trying to work my ass off to secure our lives. This means sacrifice and I get that. 2. I feel like I am trying to keep up with my husbands dream lifestyle - bigger house, better car, "we need a new rug", can we get a dirt bike, can we do XYZ. 3. I feel like I am always the bad guy because I have to say NO a lot, not because I want to though. 4. I feel like a selfish horrible person because I am starting to think more and more about wanting to wean - I could take medications that would help me, I could have myself to myself again, I wouldn't have to pump and worry about how to handle it in work situations and on trips. I feel stupid a wrong for wanting to stop when it is the best thing for my daughter. 5. I have narcolepsy and my husband doesn't understand. I wake up work all day, come home and do what he does all evening including bath and bedtime (I love this)...but of course I have no energy....I am narcoleptic receiving sup-par treatment due to breastfeeding, working myself to death, and trying my ABSOLUTE hardest at everything in life. I get 20 minutes a day to myself on my commute to and from work. 6. I don't NOT want sex - but I just want to curl up in a ball with blankets and sleep for a week sometimes. I don't want "nasty" stuff that he may want sometimes because honestly that's just to much work right now and I want to feel more human not less. 7. I feel like my relationship of almost 4 years and marriage of only 4 months is under so much pressure because I can barely breathe sometimes. I feel like I am expecting too much of everyone else and just convincing myself I am a victim and I deserve x,y,z. I feel like I am neglecting my husband because I have stretched myself so so thin and I don't know how to change it.I want the best for my family and my marriage, and secondarily my career. I am probably not as busy as many many successful people.....but I still feel like I am drowning. And I don't know if I truly believe that I "can't' change the circumstances of my current life enough to benefit everyone or if somehow subconsciously I am unwilling to.For someone who feels like they have there shit together.....I sure feel like I don't.Am I losing my mind? Am I a jerk/bad mom? How can I improve this :( via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2nCRNpC
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