Working Dads how much do you help your Sahm wives?

Edit: sorry should have title "working parents what's your child/house care division between you and your stay at home spouse?"Too tired to explain. Brains shrinking getting depressed. I have been asking nicely. Resentment building so please shreddit please tell me how much help should a sahm expect. We do have sex (includes bj)3 times a week at most maybe 4 (for those who may think he's not being motivated)Currently I do: Bills Child care b18 months and b 3.5 Cook (typical meal shrimp Alfredo or tacos) Clean vacuum I keep the house clean of crumbs trash and clothes on the floor. Laundry wash and fold or hang Take kids to park or indoor playground every other day. Engage them in learning games Potty trained first and working on 18 mo Did all the nursing night waking Husband doesn't change soiled diapers only wet ones. Taxes Car maintenence Put both children to sleepFirst son husband was working overseas for 7 months. 2nd son H decided to try and start a new career or trade and went to school during last half of pregnancy and first 6 months of 2 sons life. So no help except financially. It was an impossible situation for him he would work during the day and attend school at night we would see each other on the weekends, but still i ended mowing the lawn when I was pregnant and with the kids. I couldn't nag him right? Couldn't ask nicely enough could not pay someone to do it? So my hands were tied.He and I both have ADHD and on medicine I've encouraged him to go to ADHD counseling coaching but no dice. I have a huge desire for structure and routine because it makes my job so much easier.But I've not been able to implement any kind of structure or schedule routine by myself. I do all the nighttime routine or else it's "just don't brush his teeth tonight it'll be alright"When I hear how much help my friends have with their child or children it makes me so sad because I can't keep up with this. He's so tired he falls asleep watching them but he can't fall asleep at a decent time (in order to go to work) he gets Saturday Sunday and Monday off then will work 8 to 730 pm every night.We attended 7 marriage counseling sessions I've decided to stop because I could use that money (120.00 every other week) for help with child care or getting a break for myself. The advice was for my husband and I to put children to sleep early and hang out together and bond for two hours then go to sleep. Husband argued that he wants to see his kids when he gets home but it's utter chaos he gets home at 8 pm (sometimes later) they ramp up are overly tired and act cranky and he only hugs them then tells them to be quiet so we can watch a show. It makes no sense.Also he will go play pool not tell me until I ask when he gets off work early meanwhile I don't get any breaks when I ask for him to simply watch the kids so I can catch up on my chores he falls asleep watching them (during the day on the weekends)He wants me to homeschool them ( I kept giving rebuttals he kept saying I wouldn't screw it up) I don't want to do that and recently just told him no way I can't do that. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2mkUasq