This may get long winded. I am sorry. I am at a complete loss at what to do anymore. I need help. Throwaway because i am ashamed i feel the way i do.I (24/F) have a daughter (4) I really just never want to be around her anymore. I love her, more than anything or anyone but her general behaviour i cannot stand and I'm not proud of it but i have practically given up even trying to parent beyond keeping her alive/healthy/generally "happy". I'm in NO way neglectful, just not very engaging anymore, playful or put in effort to do "more"For some context she is a very bright girl. So intelligent it can be taxing. But she NEVER listens. Not in a normal 4yo way but i mean she NEVER listens. Within the span of writing this i have asked her to stop spilling her paint water several times (she did not i took it away) then to stop throwing a toy at me. I ask nicely at least 4-5 times before i start using a stern voice but most of the time i end up having to growl for her to listen (or take something off her, also an argument in itself) and even then it is short lived as she will find something more irritating to do. If you ask her to NOT do something, she will do it. Whether it's for her own safety or not. Just earlier i asked her not to put stickers in her mouth (she already would know this) but as soon as i asked her to please not do it, its almost like a game, she does it more. I had to remove the stickers.She has just started school. I wanted to walk to school but after the first week i gave that up because she kept running off too far and wouldn't stop, even when i called after her several times. The last time we walked she almost ran out into the road toward traffic which is why i gave up. All the other parents were looking as i had to crazily scream after her to stop and to physically stop her from going into the road (shes not stupid, she does this to get a reaction, but i genuinely don't think she would stop if i didn't react) Even walking out to the car she runs straight towards the road purely because she gets me riled up and i yell and run after her because i obviously don't want her to get hit by a car. Yes i have explained several times what being hit by a car will mean for her.She will ask and beg and carry on for something (this morning it was for a bath) i will oblige, a bath, for example, isn't a bad thing so i run her the bath. She gets in for no joke 3 odd minutes before she's calling to get out. I told her that's a waste of water and to stay in there longer. So she flooded the bath room. I wouldn't mind this occasionally but it's every single day she will do this in one way or another.She is an absolute pig. She squishes food, spills her drinks (all deliberately, as in she will ask for a cup of water, look at me, then tip the cup over or wipe food on the carpets after being told not to 1000 times) she will kick over things that will spill. She LOVES making a mess. She will make a mess while i clean, it's beyond frustrating.You may think she is bored, right? So did i. Shes been somewhat this way since she could walk. Obviously younger it was fine but now i KNOW she understands and CAN behave better (I've seen it) but refuses to i can't stand her. I used to constantly try and do nice things. Go on outings, paint together, walk to school or to the park or to a play centre, try read to her or go out to lunch or literally try anything, but without a doubt every single time she will ruin it with her behaviour, lack of listening or disobedience. She will chuck tantrums, run away from me, throw food/make a mess in public. It's embarrassing and completely hair-ripping-out stressful and i can no longer hack it so i no longer go anywhere with her.She also enjoys breaking everything. I have gone through 2 TVs (yes TV's) because she kept throwing toys at them. Nothing i did made her stop. She'll just break things for the sake of it. I'll buy her a new book and within 5 minutes she will rip the pages. This is with everything. Everything she can she will try to break. Whether its her toys or my reading glasses, if she can she will try break it. Nothing can be left down for her.She also clings off me and refuses to play on her own so all day every day she HANGS off me and no matter what i do she won't leave me be. Constantly hitting my face or something and it's gotten to a point where i dont want to be around her so the hanging off me is driving me crazy. I sometimes go and lock myself in my room for 5 minutes and she just screams and hits the door while waiting for me to get out.I tried. I tried so very very hard to have fun and be playful and have that family life with her. I would try and do fun family activities but eventually it became harder than it was worth. I got no joy from it because she would never behave and she clearly didn't enjoy it because instead of engaging in the activity she would just misbehave.If she doesn't get her own way she will purposely go and do something naughty and tell me "this is what i get" for saying no. Last time she did this she threw her paints all over the carpet in her toy room because i told her she couldn't watch tv.These are just a few examples but this behaviour is an ongoing issue. In every way, all day. Most days i end the day crying when she's finally asleep from all the pent up emotion and frustration i carry during the day.Help. Please. I'm so achingly depressed living this way. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2x7PelF
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