Very ashamed to admit, I don't like my 10yo

Okay. Yes, I said it. I don't like my youngest son. I love him dearly, and I want nothing but the best for him and his future. Here is a list of issues we are currently dealing with.Poor hygiene. No matter how many times we teach him the importance of cleaning himself, and HOW to effin do it, he fights us. He doesn't wipe himself correctly, sometimes not at all. I have thrown away at least 30 pairs of underwear this year because of this. He won't shower, so his face and neck are covered in a layer of filth. He also refuses to brush his teeth, so we have had about $10,000 worth of work done to fix cavities and such.Completely disregards any type of authority. He repeated kindi cause he refused to read. Since 2nd grade (currently in 4th) he has refused to do his school work, interrupts the teacher and other students. There was a time when the school was calling my husband and I to come in and get him back on track. (Honestly think his teacher was using this as an excuse to get him out of the class for a bit as it would take from 45 mins to over an hour to get him back) If he is given homework, everyone in the house has to stop whatever they are doing, and it's still a 4 hour fight to get him to even put pen to paper.He tries to boss around every person that comes near him. And if they won't do as he says, he gets violent toward himself. Sometimes towards others, but it's extremely rare.He refuses to do any household chores. And IF he does agree, he purposely does thim incorrectly, then throws a fit if I ask him to redo it properly.We took him to therapy for 12 weeks, but stopped taking him when we learned he had been lying to the therapist about himself and his life. (He told the therapist we left him with an aunt and uncle for 6 months in Japan, and that he didn't hear from us once during that time. He has never been outside the US and he has NEVER lived with anyone else.)We have also had a visit from CPS last year. He told his teacher at school that he wanted to die because I choked him and threw rocks at him. His father and I have never laid hands on him, not even a spanking.My husband and I are at a loss as to what to do. We have exhausted all measures, and are at our white end. I have tried everything I have read, that has been suggested to me, that I can think of. He resists any form of help, and then turns around and makes us feel like we are failing him at every turn.I guess my reasoning for this post is to ask, have any of you been in the same boat? And how did you start to like your kid again? I'm heartbroken over this fact, but I don't know where to even begin to change it. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/34roIyW