Ex Wife Being Mean or me being a crap dad

My ex-wife thinks that my son (14) has serious issues. That he is depressed, anxious and becoming overweight and that he doesn’t have any friends. She thinks he is overly anxious and anti-social and only wants to hang out with his dad. She shouts at him often, sometimes reducing him to tears, calling him fat and lazy and that he has no friends. He has opened up to me that he sometimes dreads going to his Moms as he knows that she will shout at him. He is a sensitive boy and I am worried that what is happening is a form of emotional abuse.When he is at my place he seems happy and not in any way carrying any issues that I can discern. He has talked about his life at school and says that he hangs out with his friends during the day, but in the evening and at weekends he prefers to stay home and chill (as he puts it). My ex wife has accused me of trying to be the ‘cool dad’ who plays board games (I am a bit of a table top games fan) with his son and that I should be sharing some of the ‘hard’ parenting and make him get fit and encourage him to be more social, and that what I am doing is a dereliction of duty as a father. I take him hiking and swimming in an effort to tackle this, altered our housefold’s diet and have gently encouraged him to be more social but feel that I shouldn’t make him see friends outside of school if he doesn’t want to. It feels wrong so I am not bringing it up anymore.Grades wise: he is crushing it and seems college material.I do not know what to do. I feel, in some senses, that I have enabled my son’s self imposed anti socialness by being a laid back dad who likes to hang out with his son, play board games and go mountain biking. But then I wonder if this is a notion that has been planted in my head by my ex wife as a form of manipulation - I just don’t know anymore.My ex and I are currently not talking. I attempted to try and convince her to stop shouting at him and that she has some perfect picture of what a 14 year old boy should be and because he is not rhyming with that image she is disappointed in him. Hence his anxiety. She started screaming at me that he is not normal, and that normal 14 year olds have friends and are not fat. I don’t appreciate being yelled at and when she gets into that kind of mood there really is no reasoning with her.I am starting to examine my parenting style and and questioning if it is me, really, that has created all my son’s problems and that I have in fact left the ‘hard’ parenting to my ex-wife. That I should have been tougher about making him continue with a team sport (baseball) and should try and engineer some distance between us and become more of a father and less a friend, and that by casting him off will enable him to make strong friends outside of school that are the same age as him.I get along really well with my children, rarely shout at them and try and spend quality time with them. I think my son is fantastic; he is funny, great to hang out with and gifted academically. But I am now left wondering if it is me (amItheasshole) that is the problem and not my ex.This is tearing me apart at the moment as I feel that what I should be doing is protecting my son, but I just don’t know anymore.Midwest, Dad. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OfHIez