I'm at a loss, I'm exhausted, and I don't know what to do.

I need help. I am a father of a 5 year old, and live with his mother (My wife.). I am at a loss, and I honestly have no idea of what to do any more.I worked third shift, so I missed A LOT of things with my son until recently, and that is why I feel like what is happening is my fault.Lately my son has been having a lot of out bursts with my wife and I, and it gets to the point of me needing to walk out of the house for a time just to calm my self down. I love my son, but there are days where it's difficult for me.He doesn't go to the bathroom, and will poop in his underwear, saying that he doesn't feel it. When I call him out on it, he gets very upset, and starts screaming and throwing a temper tantrum. I ignore it until he calms down, and then try again to get him to go. Every day that is a fight.We see a child therapist on a monthly basis, and I've done everything she's suggest. Spend more time with him, talk to him calmly when he's upset, get on his level, reward good behavior. Set a schedule for him to go to the bathroom. None of it works.We've been to a gastroenterologist, and still nothing. They say he has feeling down there, and everything works. He has encopresis though, but they don't know why. They've done tests, and nothing has shown anything that is wrong with him physically, but that is why we go to the therapist, and even then nothing.He gets off the bus, and he's either glad to be back, or extremely upset. He tells me he wants to live at school, and even sometimes just throws a fit and throws him self on the ground right outside the school bus screaming he doesn't want to go home, or go run errands with the wife and I. He also gets home, and literally races to the computer, and will shutdown my schoolwork stuff, which happens to cause a fight. It's all he wants to do. I encourage him to play with his toys, go outside, or even play video games with him, but he doesn't want any of that.He is currently on ritalin to help with his ADHD, and I see a small change, that he will talk a lot more, but he still just wants to play on the computer all the time, even when I tell him I have to finish up my school work.Today though, was just the last of it. He was fine this morning, and it was really cold when he was waiting at the bus stop. My wife dropped him off, so I don't know everything that has happened. Later on, after we pick him up from the bus, I was sitting in the car, and waved to him when he was walking to the car, and he smiled and waved back so I thought he was in a good mood. My wife gets him in the car and tells him to buckle up, and the fights started from there. He screams that he wants to go home, but we have to go to the store to pick up a few things.The entire time we were out, he was screaming, kicking, and crying stopping us from actually getting through the stores easily and quickly. People giving us glares, and saying things about us when they thought we couldn't hear them. You know what I'm talking about.We finally get back home from the erands, and straight onto the computer instantly. I ask him to take off his coat and he just gets upset with me, so I just let him have it for the time. I ask him to to use the bathroom, and instantly he just starts screaming at me, and throwing a fit about going. He refuses to go, but I manage to get him to eventually go. Time goes on, we play a bit surprisingly he wants to so I oblige.Later on near bed time (8), he starts getting upset with me telling him to go to bed and take off the coat and go to the bathroom. He starts throwing a fit so I ignore it until he calms down, and I ask again, and yet again it happens again. This goes on for an hour or so, causing me to get increasingly agitated with him. I tell him no electronics tomorrow. This whole time his mother is sitting on the bed messing with yarn, just ignoring what is happening, so that annoys me a bit. After my son and I going back and forth for a bit, she finally gets up and deals with him after I lost my cool and yell about him not listening to me and what not. It is now 10 PM, and he is FINALLY changing with his mother having to pull him into the bathroom and clean up.she comes back and He's standing in the hall screwing around as I tell him to go into bed, and he just gets upset with me again. One things leads to another and I just start yelling about how he doesn't listen to me, and that she doesn't do anything when issues arise, and doesn't help when it is clear that I need help with him. After a bit I leave to calm my self down, and come back at all 11, and he is still awake, but is now finally laying down in bed.I'm done, and honestly don't know what to do anymore with him. He doesn't listen to me, screams, kicks, hits, slaps, and even spits at me whenever I ask him to do something simple, or tell him to get off the electronics as he's been on them in a while. His mother doesn't do anything when she sees I'm struggling, and I'm just at a loss with this. Doing house work, going to school, and taking care of him is just too much for me to handle.I've been to google for a few hours over multiple weeks and no results. The therapist hasn't been much help, and I just don't know what else to do...The worst part that recently got me is that he was saying he "I hate me.". I asked him what he means, and why, but he doesn't know why, and it concerns me. I love him more than anything, and it if wasn't for him, I'd be gone from this world. Hearing him say that breaks my heart. I gave him a hug and told him I love him, and he says he loves me too. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qksuvv