My husband and I have 2 girls ages 9 and 4. He and I separated when our older daughter was 1 (mainly due to his infidelity).after a few years of learning each other better and with separation being good for us, we decided to have another child together because we both wanted more kids. Sometimes I think he was motivated to have another kid with me to keep me from moving on to other men (super effective!)I’ve had primary physical custody of the girls this whole time. Husband sees them one weekend day every week (i usually host this at my house and don’t get a break from the kids). Lately he has started taking them overnight every other weekend for one night. Amazing. 2 nights a month where I am not momming.Now that littlest is 4 and I’m crawling out of the meatgrinder of mothering a baby... I’ve had time and interest in making a deeper connection and finding a partner.I have very little personal time between work and motherhood... but I finally met someone who is patient, loving, and cares for me and my girls. I slowly introduced him to the girls but have generally kept to going out with him. BF has slept over my house maybe only once or twice in 6 months time... I don’t want to confuse or upset the girls but we talk a LOT about the divorce, moving on, feelings etc. the girls like my new boyfriend.BF is now living several hours away so I’d only see him once or twice a month at best.When BF comes to where I live, I feel that I should be able to host him and have him near my kids - he is so respectful of them and their needs, and my decision making for their best interests. I am trying to be super sensitive about everyone’s needs here.Soon to be ex husband though... he says he does not want ANY man around his kids EVER - unless I’m planning to marry that man. How would I possibly know I’d want to marry someone without them having significant exposure to my kids first? He can’t and won’t answer that.My problem is that husband seems to think because he wants it a certain way, it shall be that way.My husband has had me do the full time parenting mostly on my own for 9 years and I don’t appreciate feeling dictated to.I just need some advice about how to handle my husband and his expectations.I always have my kids best interests at heart.I always have my KIDS! They’re with me! Husband also lives 2 hours away.TLDR: the father of my daughters does not want me introducing the kids to ANY man or spending any sort of time with other men. He trusts no one. How do I get him to accept the inevitable and believe that The kids are not in harms way? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qsPrMF
No comments:
Post a Comment