The Never and Always

My SO's kids are six (girl) and four (boy). In recent year, they both started to use those two absolutes. "Why do my brother always gets juice first". "Why I never can't watch TV". Of course, those sentiments are not true. We try to be fair and give both as much attention we can but as you may know, it isn't so simple. They are siblings and they compare, compete each other and fight for attention. Older kid does her best to be more likeable, often telling us what her little brother did wrong. Little brother usually doesn't like things the sister likes, just for the sake of it. And vice versa. Overall, it feels like when one has a good day, the other doesn't. Well, the older sibling is really harder in this case, she is really sensitive girl with lots of worries which includes the word "never".So, the absolutes. When there is "never", we try to remind that it is not true. I gave you juice first in line on breakfast. When there is "always", we try to remind that it is not true. Yesterday mom gave goodnight kiss for you first, not your brother. But it doesn't help. Maybe it will on long run. Do you have any ideas or experiences on this subject?I did one "experiment". I was very tired of hearing "why I cant never play video games". Especially when it is said 5 minutes after playing session. So I wrote a "contract". It says "After this day, I can't claim that I can't never play video games because I got to play today (timestamp) " with their own signatures on it. Of course I explained what is a contract. And how a signature is "airtight agreement". There are no penalties if the deal is broken, it is just a reminder that you really did play that day so you can't really argue about it.What do you think about these two absolutes? Are we overreacting? Is it OK to take those words this fundamentally? Do they mean something else in a childs world? Any thoughts or ideas are appreciated.By the way, me and my SO try to not use those words because it would be pretty two-faced. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/34sZ4uw